Village Idiots
“It’s just dog racism. To be afraid of a breed of dog is completely ridiculous. It’s like being afraid of somebody for their race or their sexual orientation.” —actor Jon Bernthal on the dangerous reputation of pit bulls

“This Muslim [Zohran Mamdani] is putting Christians to shame. … There is more to say for a man that lifts the poor, that feeds the hungry, that employs the people who are unemployable, that walks among the people than powerful white men who consort with a pedophile. Who’s the more Christlike?” —actor DL Hughley

Theater of the Absurd
“I don’t think there’s anything more American than subscribing to an economic philosophy [socialism] that, as the evidence shows, is the only one that’s actually capable of delivering things like life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” —Colorado congressional candidate Melat Kiros

“We will defeat Donald Trump and drive a stake through the heart of fascism.” —Wisconsin gubernatorial candidate Francesca Hong

“I’m a chef. … But Thanksgiving is also a time that’s incredibly painful for many people. … I think my background as a chef will actually help me become a better governor.” —Francesca Hong (“This would get a standing ovation at the next Democrat national convention.” —Scott Jennings)

Dumb & Dumber
“I’m an anti-fascist. … I will always fight back against antisemitism as well. … It’s not a secret that antisemitism has historically exploded in times of Israel’s sieges in Gaza. … We believe that that is partially borne out of this false association between Judaism and Zionism.” —political pundit Hasan Piker

“What are all the DSA candidates and left-wing candidates actually running on? They’re running on … no longer giving an endless supply of money and weapons to the fascist terrorist apartheid rape state known as Israel.” —political pundit Kyle Kulinski

Non Compos Mentis
“Abortion is gender-affirming care.” —Planned Parenthood

“There’s only 12 trans athletes on the whole of the NCAA. We should’ve been embracing them. … We have to fight to expand [protections] for the whole country.” —Massachusetts Senator Ed Markey

“To the trans community … I’m sorry if my comments hurt you.” —Massachusetts Congressman Seth Moulton regarding his 2024 remark, “I have two little girls. I don’t want them getting run over on a playing field by a male or formerly male athlete.”

Upright
“The men are way stronger than women, so I feel like it would be not really fair for the women to compete against biological men.” —tennis player Aryna Sabalenka

Re: The Left
“Universities were so desperate for ‘diversity’ that they promoted a huge number of ‘diverse scholars’ who could only ‘succeed’ by engaging in plagiarism and specializing in ‘race studies,’ where the qualification is identity, rather than academic merit.” —Christopher F. Rufo

“The communists have taken over the Democratic Party … and now they’re running the USSR’s playbook.” —Florida Congressman Jimmy Patronis

“To be a socialist or a communist is every bit as totalitarian, anti freedom and anti American as fascism. It should be viewed, not only with moral outrage and revulsion given its history but with the understanding that it is fundamentally subversive to America.” —Nick Freitas

Belly Laugh of the Day
“PRO TIP: when an illegal trucker says he learned to drive at YALE he means JAIL.” —Jimmy Failla