Conan O'Brien: “Donald Sterling has agreed to sell the L.A. Clippers for $2 billion. Let that be a lesson to your kids. If you make a racist remark to your mistress, you will get a check for $2 billion.”

Frank J. Fleming: “You couldn’t actually get rid of all the guns in this country because the people with guns would shoot you if you tried. Makes you think.”

Argus Hamilton: “Susan Rice went on the Sunday talk shows to defend the administration for trading five Taliban leaders for a soldier who went AWOL. This time she covered her tracks. Susan Rice declared that Bergdahl served with honor and distinction, but she didn’t say for which side.”