A senior at Winston Churchill High School was suspended for two days for dealing cans of Pepsi in all their sugary, caffeinated glory. The school has only sold diet soda in the cafeteria and ever since 9th grade, Keenan Shaw bought cases of Pepsi to sell to his fellow students out of his locker. First, the school told him to shut it down because he violated some asinine ordinance related to Michelle Obama’s school lunch program. When Shaw refused, the school hit him with suspension over operating an illegal business. Shaw told CBC News, “I’m not going to name any names, but I know a couple of people selling marijuana. There’s kids selling smokes, there was a kid last year selling meth, as well as a kid selling acid.” But as we all know, the soda is what will really gets you, rots your mind and makes you a useless member of society. More…

[h/t Reason]