Upright: “Barring a miracle, the family that has existed since antiquity will likely crumble, presaging the fall of Western civilization itself. This is a time for concerted prayer, divine wisdom and greater courage than we have ever been called upon to exercise.” —James Dobson

Non Compos Mentis: “[H]ate speech is excluded from protection. dont [sic] just say you love the constitution…read it.” —CNN’s Chris Cuomo on Twitter

The annals of the absurd: “Muslims are seen as more violent than other religions, they’re seen as less civilized than other religions, they’re seen as more prone to terrorism than other religions. … I see that as baseless.” —Morehouse College professor Marc Lamont Hill, who clearly hasn’t been paying attention

Race bait: “I’m asking the Department of Justice to investigate if our police department has engaged in a pattern or practice of stops, searches or arrests that violate the Fourth Amendment. I am asking that they investigate what systemic challenges exist within our police department that can contribute to excessive force and discriminatory policing.” —Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake

Village Idiots: “There was no attempt to hide [donations]. The guy that filled out the forms made an error. The guy put it on the wrong form … I can’t explain why they didn’t do it — all I can do is fix it.” —Bill Clinton, blaming the accountant for his Foundation failing to disclose some foreign donors

Dezinformatsia: “Socialist Sanders might actually make Americans realize that Republicans are liars when they call Clinton and Obama socialists — and force a real debate on economic inequality. It will be a great relief to see a Democrat who’s unapologetic about the role of government in creating a more inclusive economy.” —Salon’s Joan Walsh

Late-night humor: “Bernie Sanders’ presidential campaign announced that it raised over $1.5 million in the 24 hours after he announced his bid. Meanwhile, a 12-year-old on Kickstarter just raised $7 million in five minutes after announcing his idea for juice box water guns.” —Jimmy Fallon