Upright: “Obama’s dithering sparked the refugee crisis. He’s now using a smattering of refugees as a cynical prop to prove he’s the hero of his own morality tale. The reality is that he’s a villain in his own theater of the absurd. And we’re the suckers in the audience falling for it.” —Jonah Goldberg

For the record: “Republicans are the ones incessantly pressuring political leaders to affix qualifiers such as ‘radical’ and ‘extremist’ to the word ‘Islam.’ It is the left that refuses to make those distinctions, but then it is also the left that turns around and accuses conservatives of waging war against all Muslims.” —David Harsanyi

Alpha Jackass: “I’ve been disgusted in recent days to see some of my Republican colleagues shunning the American tradition of sheltering those fleeing death, torture, rape and oppression. Frankly, I’ve been disappointed by Republican fear mongering and bigotry.” —Harry Reid deriding “what has become a disturbing pattern of Republican hatred toward Muslims”

Braying Jackass: “[Rejecting refugees] is despicable and cowardly and precisely the kind of reaction ISIS wanted! ISIS could not have written a better script. The free people of the world are turning their backs on people seeking safety and freedom. When we sent Jews back to Germany and when we sent Japanese to internment camps, we regretted it. And we will regret this as well.” —Rep. Luis Gutierrez

Non Compos Mentis: “Count me as a lioness. Anybody comes near my cubs, you’re dead.” —Nancy Pelosi (Naturally, she was explaining why she opposed the House bill blocking jihadi “refugees” from entering the country.)

Demo-gogues: “Since the beginning of the Bush administration when we were attacked, Sept. 11, we’ve not had any major terrorist attack in this country. We’ve had individual crazy people [who] look more like me than they look like Middle Easterners. They are generally white males who have shot up people in movie theaters and schools. Those are terrorist attacks, they’re just different kinds of terrorists.” —Sen. Sherrod Brown

Late-night humor: “Hillary Clinton recently decided to make her Myspace page ‘private’ so people can no longer see some of her old campaign ads. When somebody told her she can just delete it, Hillary said, ‘I’m not fallin’ for that again!‘” —Jimmy Fallon