Upright: “[Hollywood elitists] don’t have a choice now. [Trump is] our president. And it’s very dynamic and as divisive of an inauguration and time as we’ve had. At the same time, it’s time for us to embrace and shake hands with this fact. And be constructive with him over the next four years.” —Matthew McConaughey

For the record: “Had Donald Trump nominated Jesus Christ to the Supreme Court, the Left would march in protest of the Lord’s views on life and marriage. So wrapped up in the advance of one size fits all social justice, the Left will cut off its nose to spite its face.” —Erick Erickson

Alpha Jackass: “It’s a stunning thing that a white supremacist, [Stephen] Bannon, would be a permanent member of the National Security Council.” —Nancy Pelosi

Non Compos Mentis: “WAKE UP & JOIN THE RESISTANCE. ONCE THE MILITARY IS W US FASCISTS GET OVERTHROWN. MAD KING & HIS HANDLERS GO BYE BYE.” —Sarah Silverman

Goals: “[Abortion] helps to address the number of people we have on this planet. We feel that one of the ways that we can get to a sustainable population is to empower women to make choices about their own families.” —Sierra Club executive director Michael Brune

Flashback: “She knows that in this big, diverse country, democracy can’t work if all we’re about is trying to destroy somebody in the other party. If we demonize each other. If we block Supreme Court appointments — not because that’s how it’s supposed to work, but just because we didn’t win.” —Barack Obama on the campaign trail for Hillary Clinton

Late-night humor: “We’re now learning a little bit more about Neil Gorsuch. For instance, I read that he actually has a barn where he raises horses, chickens and goats. That experience will come in handy when he spends the rest of his life side-stepping all the crap in Washington.” —Jimmy Fallon