If a Golden Globe falls in a forest and no one’s around to hear it, does it still make a woke, whiny, petulant, sanctimonious sound?

We ask because NBC has canceled next year’s version of the Globes, having been too slow to pull the plug on this year’s event before it posted record-low viewership numbers. Of course, the network didn’t cite the embarrassing ratings as the reason for its cancellation. Instead, NBC called out the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, the cross-burners who host the event, for insufficient commitment to diversity.

The proof of the HFPA’s white supremacy can be found in the bean counting: The organization is said to have not a single black person among its voting members — which is to say, the organization hasn’t been able to find a single black person willing to endure the embarrassment of said membership. Just imagine being associated with such stiffs — much less being seen with them.

Having reached for the smelling salts, NBC pulled itself together to issue a sternly worded statement: “We continue to believe that the HFPA is committed to meaningful reform. However, change of this magnitude takes time and work, and we feel strongly that the HFPA needs time to do it right. … Assuming the organization executes on its plan, we are hopeful we will be in a position to air the show in January 2023.”

Uh-huh.

As for the “change of this magnitude” mentioned by NBC, the HFPA has already put forth a plan for “inclusion and diversity,” which its members overwhelmingly approved. This would include, predictably, the hiring of a chief diversity, equity, and inclusion officer, and setting up a “hotline” so members can snitch on each other when they witness a “conduct violation.” Oh, and somehow convincing 20 self-respecting blacks to become members. Good luck with that.

Unfortunately for the HFPA, Hollywood and its ilk won’t be waiting patiently for this reform. As Axios reports, “Leaders at Amazon, Netflix and WarnerMedia have put out statements saying they refuse to work with the group until new reforms are enacted. Stars including Scarlett Johansson and Mark Ruffalo have also joined calls against the group.”

Also piling on is Tom Cruise, he of the 1983 hit “Risky Business,” who recently packaged up and returned his three Golden Globes to the HFPA.

If the Golden Globes’ struggles sound oddly familiar, it might be because they are. Last year, the Academy Awards announced its own set of “diversity” rules, and just a few weeks ago, woke celebs failed to draw flies to the Oscars, posting a record-low viewership of just 9.85 million. For comparison, that’s a rib-tickling 58% drop from the 23.6 million viewers who tuned in last year, and a knee-slapping 83% drop from the 57.2 million who watched “Titanic” take “best picture” in 1998.

Our own Thomas Gallatin’s assessment of the moribund Oscars applies equally to the Golden Globes: “It has become increasingly apparent that Hollywood has severed itself from what made it so big in the first place: entertainment. It’s now little more than an institutional leftist shill, touting ‘diversity’ and ‘inclusivity’ but being completely devoid of genuine diversity of opinion and thought. It’s like an orchestra with a complete complement of musicians capable of playing an array of instruments, but that only ever plays one tune.”

On the bright side for the glitterati? There’s nowhere to go but up. After all, it’s hard to fall off the floor.