For the Record

“Nowadays I am so upset because the things we did, and the things we fought for, and the boys that died for it, it’s all gone down the drain. Our country is going to hell in a handbasket. We haven’t got the country we had when I was raised, not at all. … That’s not what our boys, that’s not what they died for. It’s just not the same. That isn’t what we fought for.” —decorated World War II Marine veteran Carl Dekel on the occasion of his 100th birthday, just ahead of the 246 celebration of American independence

“The American Dream is not something handed to us, like a gift, by government. It is something we alone can create and realize — and we can only do so in a nation that safeguards the God-given freedoms with which our Creator has blessed us.” —former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo

Friendly Fire

“There is this sense that things are kind of out of control and [Joe Biden is] not in command.” —Barack Obama’s former chief strategist, David Axelrod

Baghdad Bob

“I think that we are doing a good job.” —DHS Secretary Alejandro “Open Borders” Mayorkas

President Unity™

“I share the public outrage at this extremist [Supreme] Court.” —Joe Biden

Non Compos Mentis Award

“Our Founders carried muskets, not assault weapons. And I don’t think a single one of them would have said that you have a constitutional right to an assault weapon with a high-capacity magazine.” —Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker

Non Sequitur

“What essentially has happened is the statement has been made that the government has a right to come in your home and tell you, as a woman and as a family, what you should do with your body. And the point has to be this: We have to recognize we’re a nation that was founded on certain principles … that are grounded in the concept of freedom and liberty. We also know that we’ve had a history in this country of government trying to claim ownership over human bodies. And we had supposedly evolved from that time and that way of thinking. So this is very problematic on so many levels.” —Vice President Kamala Harris

Braying Jenny

“I can’t describe how painful it is to be here now, in a place where the Supreme Court has the power to erase 50 years of constitutional law. Make no mistake: This is not where it ends. Conservatives will not rest until they have come for all of our rights. Everything we have fought for could be lost unless we take it back. … And we have to raise hell in our cities, in Washington, in every restaurant Justice Alito eats at for the rest of his life. Because if Republicans have made our lives hell, it’s time to return the favor.” —comedienne Samantha Bee

And Last…

“There’s nothing more dangerous than a man with nothing to do and no one to live for. This has been true in every place for all of time. Our young men are drowning in idleness, purposelessness & godlessness, and we’re paying for it.” —Allie Beth Stuckey