July 17, 2023

When Fear Overwhelms

“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

It was sunset as we entered the small village not far from where we lived. We had walked through this farming village several times during the day, but this was our first time to come in the evening. As I turned a corner, I nearly bumped into a farmer who was standing on the trail facing away from me.

When he turned around, he nearly jumped out of his skin. I assured him he was okay and nothing was going to happen to him. It was not yet dark when the curfew would kick in, and anyone outside was considered an enemy combatant. I went ahead and asked for his identification card. Everyone had one. I asked several times in Vietnamese, but each time he shook his head saying he didn’t understand.

As we stood by the hedge row surrounding what I assumed was his thatched hut, I saw movement over his shoulder. It only took a second to see two Viet Cong regulars in khaki uniforms carrying AK-47s walking my direction. They had not seen me — yet! The farmer moved away from me. Then I saw him trying to pull a grenade out from under his shirt.

I grabbed him by the shirt as adrenaline shot through me and fired point blank as he struggled with the grenade. I dropped to my knees and opened fire on the two VC regulars who were bringing their weapons off their shoulders. I nearly emptied my 20-round magazine before realizing they were dead.

The rest of the squad behind me spread out to make sure there were no other enemies waiting for us. We collected weapons and documents carried by the two VC regulars, one of whom was an officer. When we got back to the village, my heart had finally slowed to normal and the adrenaline went back down.

I decided to take a shower, but when I did, my legs wouldn’t stop shaking. I had to lean against the side of the building so I didn’t fall. It seemed like forever before I could stand without shaking. Fear would become my constant companion every time I went on patrol.

Fear can control our lives if we let it. The constant “what ifs” that pop up in our minds can consume us. Thoughts like, Will I lose my job? Is my marriage okay? Will my children be okay in this culture? Do I measure up to what a man (or woman) is supposed to be? Or how about, Is God pleased with me? Fear unchecked can kill us!

The term “do not fear” or a variation of it is mentioned 365 times in the Bible — a reminder for every day of the year. But what matters is not just knowing the verses but believing them and putting them into real-life practice. When I returned home from Vietnam, I battled fears that were not real, but they seemed real to me. By God’s grace, I learned that faith conquers fear!

At times it seems like everything that was once normal has disappeared and the future is unclear. Remember, never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God!

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” —John 16:33 (NIV)

Something to think about!

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