Columnist.
This week is Thanksgiving, and the mad Christmas shopping scramble has already begun. As relatives descend, it's all too easy to focus on the shopping, cooking, and cleaning that underlie holiday preparations. In the process, we forget what we're celebrating. We're too busy getting ready for, then serving, then cleaning up from Thanksgiving to actually give thanks.
My daughter Kristin and I are laughing, crying, and reminiscing our way through the practical preparations for her upcoming wedding. She's marrying a wonderful young man, and my husband and I feel confident that these two young adults will create a strong family together; rich in faith, love, and commitment. So it was particularly sad for me to read a recent Slate article on Dutch women, who scorn marriage as a relic of times gone by. The article's author, NYU professor Katie Roiphe, wrote that she realized during a recent visit to Amsterdam that "having children and not being married was not a big deal... The Dutch attitude ... is that marriage is not for everyone; it is a personal choice, an option, a pleasant possibility."
"Selfies." You've probably heard of them. They are the photos that teens (and, too often, young adults) take of themselves and post far and wide for the admiration or amusement of friends. Snap-chat, Facebook, and Twitter are full of selfies. Although great fun when used in moderation, they've also become a classic example of teen-age narcissism, self-absorption, and lack of vision -- and the icon of a nation struggling to remember its greatness.
Obamacare is a disaster -- not because of the clunky, costly, inoperative website, but because President Obama and his HHS minions have grabbed control over our personal health care decisions and they won't let go. First, the top-down control means that the President and his know-it-all bureaucrats mandated that every adult purchase health insurance, even if they don't want it. (The Supreme Court's ruling that the mandate is only a "tax" provided helpful cover for the Administration.)
Families, we need your help this week. As I wrote about recently, California is dead set on stripping away the privacy of children -- and we need to do what we can to stop the madness.
More than 1.5 million Americans live in nursing homes. That's not a bad thing in itself, of course. Sometimes elderly folks need skilled care beyond what a family can offer. Alzheimer's patients often require round the clock supervision that's impractical for busy families, where children's needs and professional commitments consume more of the day. And some older people desire the companionship and planned activities that are available in assisted living or transitional facilities.
It's the common feminist narrative: moms want someone else to take care of their kids because child care is not nearly as rewarding as paid work. Housework and child care are mindless drudgery, and women want out. Don't you believe it.
Teen-age vandalism. It's a common, typically local problem that doesn't generally garner much attention. But when [300 teens](http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/6-arrests-made-in-vandalism-of-ex-nfl-player-brian-holloways-ny-vacation-home-more-expected/2013/09/27/179dbccc-2733-11e3-9372-92606241ae9c_story.html) broke into a former NFL player's vacation home and trashed it, it created headlines -- but not for the reason you might suspect.
Good people need your help, right now to fight government bullies who have gone bonkers over bathrooms. In August of this year, California Governor Jerry Brown [signed into law](http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/state&id=9203724) a new provision that allows 'transgender' students, from kindergarten to 12th grade, to gain access to restrooms, sports teams, and locker rooms reserved to the opposite sex.
[Rebecca Ann Sedwick](http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/14/us/suicide-of-girl-after-bullying-raises-worries-on-web-sites.html?emc=edit_tnt_20130913&tntemail0=y) was only 12 years old. But she hurled herself off of the top of an abandoned building last week in Florida in order to free herself from the daily torment of her peers. The bullies' weapons? Words. But their cruelty towards Rebecca didn't happen on the playground, in the lunchroom, or next to the school lockers. It happened on social media, in particular through an app called Ask.fm. The app allows users to send anonymous comments to others over the Internet, making it a place where bullies flourish.
Sarah is a beautiful three-year-old. She loves Honey Nut Cheerios, nursery rhymes, and playing on the playground. But lately, it almost breaks her mother's heart to see Sarah out there with the other kids. Newly diagnosed with autism, Sarah's playground time is less a time of carefree play and childhood "firsts" and more a marker of how quickly 'normal' has slipped away.
Miley Cyrus, who became famous as the wholesome TV character "Hannah Montana," is growing up. So what's the fuss? At least that's pop star Justin Timberlake's take on Miley's sexually explicit dance routine during last week's MTV Video Music Awards show. "I like Miley. I like her a lot. I think, you know, she's young. She's letting everyone know that she's growing up."
You've shopped the sales and tax-free holidays, met your child's teacher, and mapped out your "school schedule." It's back to school time, the buses are rolling, and everything seems familiar. But is it really?
Nearly 60% of children participate in organized youth sports. No surprise. Sports are an excellent way to strengthen a child's character, fitness, and confidence. And when almost 20% of children are obese, not merely overweight, it's no surprise that parents turn to competitive sports to keep their children moving and healthy. But what happens when things become toxic on the sidelines?
The day is fast approaching when you'll drop your little girl off at her freshmen dorm. After lugging her "stuff" to her new room, meeting the roommate, and exchanging hugs all around, the hours will speed by and you'll be driving away, alone, all too soon. For her, it's the beginning of a brand new world of lectures, libraries, meal cards, parties, and guys. Unfortunately, it's a world that's increasingly likely to include sex, but not dating, relationships, or even healthy male-female friendships.
"Wendy" wonders about her dad. Who is he? Does she look like him or share his personality quirks? Does he want to know her? Will he reject her if she reaches out? After all, he fathered under the assumption that he'd never have to know her. "Wendy" is a donor-conceived person, the child of an anonymous sperm donor and her mother. If her father was like most sperm donors, he was likely a student seeking extra cash -- for books, beer, or "stuff." After minimal paperwork at a fertility center, he would have been assigned a number, given a private room, supplied with porn, and then masturbated into a paper cup. Trading his sperm for a few bucks, he would leave. Done. Over.
A friend of mine was out to dinner recently and saw an endearingly awkward teenage couple arrive for dinner, ready to splurge on a casual sit-down restaurant instead of the burger joint next door. They seemed intent on giving a "real" date — with actual, face-to-face extended conversation — a try.
"Trayvon Martin could have been me 35 years ago...if a white male teen was involved in the same kind of scenario...both the outcome and the aftermath might have been different." With those words, President Obama once again stepped into the role of Racial Divider-in-Chief. After days of pressure from black activists to "express the anger and frustration of their community," Obama made an unannounced press appearance at the White House late last week to discuss the Trayvon Martin case.
Have you ever been around a woman whose calm wisdom and gentle confidence uplifts everyone around her? A woman who confronts the toughest parenting challenges with practicality, patience, and peace? My friend Marianne Clyde is that kind of woman. But she will be the first to tell you that she developed that peaceful perspective (which leads to the most effective parenting) only after foundering for years in the choppy waves of guilt, anxiety, and endless self-criticism. We've all been there, right?
