“54-40 or Fight” was the slogan of supporters James K. Polk in the 1844 presidential campaign, referring to their desire to take a substantial slice of what would eventually become Canadian territory.

For his part, Donald Trump isn’t bothering to set out any latitude lines when he discusses his ambitions on Canada — he wants the whole thing, or so he says in his trolling of our friendly neighbor to the north and its embattled progressive prime minister Justin Trudeau.

In recent weeks, Trump has mused about Canada becoming the 51st state, posted an artificially generated image of himself besides a Canada flag atop a mountain staring heroically into the distance, and referred to Trudeau, amusingly, as “governor.”

By all accounts, most Canadians have taken this in stride, but some have expressed consternation or indignation, to which we can reply, “Don’t worry, Canada — we don’t really want you.”

Even if Trump were inclined to dust off War Plan Red — the Department of War’s strategy in the early 20th century for how to conduct a war against the British Empire, featuring Canada as a key battlefield — it wouldn’t be worth the effort.

The United States doesn’t need another huge, misgoverned Blue State. We already have California, where the climate and the surfing are better.

Over the past several years, Canada has managed to fall even further behind the United States economically. “The IMF forecasts that Canada’s national income per head, equivalent to around 80 percent of America’s in the decade before the pandemic, will be just 70 percent of its neighbor’s in 2025,” according to The Economist.

Writing on the same theme at the website The Hub, University of Calgary economics professor Trevor Tombe notes that “the gap between the Canadian and American economies has now reached its widest point in nearly a century.” The U.S., he continues, “is on track to produce nearly 50 percent more per person than Canada will.”

Canada would be the fourth-poorest state in the Union, beneath Alabama. Tombe breaks it down province-by-province. Ontario, home to Toronto, the biggest city in Canada, would be the fifth poorest state. Quebec would be the second poorest, falling between West Virginia and Mississippi.

Why would we make Canada’s scuffling economic performance our problem?

Then, there’s the matter of politics. Canada would be a Blue State behemoth, matching California in population (roughly 40 million) and, presumably, in reliably Democratic politics. There are red areas of Canada, which has the same urban versus rural divide as the U.S., yet the Great White North is overall less conservative.

Polling in Canada prior the U.S. presidential election showed Kamala Harris with a three-to-one lead over Trump, and an advantage even in the more Trump-friendly prairies.

The U.S. and Canada are friendly neighbors with intertwined histories, but have distinct political and economic cultures. We might think we’d annex Canada and make it more like us, but — with two Democratic senators and a huge tranche of electoral votes for a Democratic presidential candidate — Canada would surely make us more like it.

In that sense, the joke would definitely be on us.

We’d also be buying ourselves an instant separatist problem by incorporating Quebec, the French-speaking province that has had a notoriously troubled relationship with the rest of the Canada. If we want to add French, along with English and Spanish, as yet another obligatory language option, this would be a great move.

Then, there’s the matter of Justin Trudeau. After his irksome, grievous misrule of Canada, it would be even more annoying if the story ended with him becoming a U.S. citizen. Who knows? Still young, he might become a strong contender for the 2028 Democratic nomination, depending on the timing of the Ontario caucuses.

All that said, national modesty compels us to admit that all our prior efforts to take Canada have failed, and our pleasant northerly neighbor deserves respect, amid the ribbing. Let Canada be Canada.

© 2024 by King Features Syndicate