November 29, 2014

From The Comedy Store

Ferguson looters played to the TV cameras and microphones held by reporters Monday as they tore up the town. The TV reporters refused to ridicule the rioters for their crazy and over-the top behavior. The general rule in journalism is, never make fun of an idiot, he may have friends in Congress.

Ferguson looters played to the TV cameras and microphones held by reporters Monday as they tore up the town. The TV reporters refused to ridicule the rioters for their crazy and over-the top behavior. The general rule in journalism is, never make fun of an idiot, he may have friends in Congress.

The Missouri riots were covered live by the cable news networks and drew gigantic TV ratings for Fox News, CNN and MSNBC. Whites polled overwhelmingly support the cop and blacks polled overwhelmingly blame the cop. In other news, everyone on Facebook suddenly got a law degree.

Missouri’s governor hinted White House pressure kept him from protecting Ferguson merchants with Guard units Monday. The president’s TV address did not help. Ferguson merchants didn’t board up their windows till the president said if they like their merchandise, they can keep their merchandise.

Barack Obama said Tuesday he understood the frustration of the Ferguson rioters. This could fix another problem. The big reason so many immigrants come here from Latin America is that the U.S. is such a desirable place to live, and President Obama is working as hard as he can to turn that around.

WalMart was picketed this week by protestors angry about the store opening on Thanksgiving Day. We will never again be the country we once were. It’s a shame that the increased focus on shopping is detracting from the true meaning of Thanksgiving, watching NFL football for twelve hours.

Obama’s televised speech granting amnesty was not carried by CBS, ABC and NBC. The networks thought viewers would prefer to watch the Big Bang Theory, Bones and the World’s Biggest Loser. After six years in office, Barack Obama finds himself the president of Univision.

Obama declared that Americans don’t have any right to oppose immigration in a speech he made in Chicago. It’s a stunning example of the change he’s engineered. Just six years ago Barack Obama was the President of the United States, and here he is today, the King of New Spain.

Vermont fired Obamacare architect Jonathan Gruber as Vermont’s health care architect. He’s so toxic now. He got caught on tape bragging about how they had to mislead the American people to pass Obamacare when any idiot would have laid low about it, but Gruber proved he’s not just any idiot.

The Denver Post reported that a Joe’s Crab Shack restaurant franchise in Colorado was busted by police for selling alcohol to children. What can you do? The restaurant’s management explained that they wanted to ask the kids for a photo ID, but they didn’t want to be labeled as racist.

Mexican drug gangs were reported to be stealing oil from Mexico’s oil pipelines and smuggling the oil across the border into the United States. It’s so easy to smuggle. They just melt the oil down to powder form, then dye the powder white, and then the border guards just wave it through.

The Sydney Morning Herald reports that Thailand’s military court sentenced a Thailand website editor to five years in jail for writing an article that defamed the king. The U.S. ambassador relayed the news to Washington. Obama is checking closely to see if this law applies to emperors, too.

Charles Manson’s wedding license arrived at a California prison Thursday permitting his upcoming wedding to take place in the prison chapel. A twenty-six year old Los Angeles girl has agreed to marry the eighty-year-old serial killer. The wedding photographs will appear exclusively in Psychology Today.

Adolf Hitler’s water-color painting of a Bavarian town hall he painted when he was twenty-five years old sold at auction in Germany. The painting was well reviewed and it sold for a hundred and sixty grand. You know things are bad for Bill Cosby when Adolf Hitler and Charles Manson are having a better week.

© Copyright 2014 Argus Hamilton

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