Okay, I wasn’t on the Titanic. But had I been born 40 years earlier and had my parents been English and decided to sail to America, I could have been on the doomed ship.

Apparently that is the sort of thing that passes for the truth in certain liberal circles. So when Brian Williams, the NBC news anchor, claimed for years that his helicopter had been shot down in Iraq, he was merely channeling his inner Hillary Clinton, who insisted in 2008 that she and Chelsea had come under enemy fire during a visit to Serbia. She, in turn, was merely channeling her inner John Kerry, who fibbed about being sent into Cambodia during the Vietnam War and compounded the sin by lying about his war-related injuries and his undeserved Purple Hearts.

Oddly enough, the one celebrity who has probably been in harm’s way nearly as often as Chris Kyle is Bill Clinton, but he’s never spoken of his exploits. But, then, that’s probably because those gunning for him were irate husbands and fathers.

I assume, though, that if Elizabeth (“Fauxcahontas”) Warren decides to throw her war bonnet in the ring in 2016, we’ll be hearing harrowing accounts of her encounter with Gen. George Custer.

But it’s not just their personal bravery that liberals lie about. They lie about everything. For instance, whether it’s Obama, Biden, Mrs. Clinton, Al Gore or Pope Francis, one of the major bugaboos they insist is keeping them up nights is global warming.

Well, for one thing, unless you’re living in Equatorial Africa or the American southwest, I don’t know anyone who would mind in the slightest if things warmed up a tad. But while the morons all run around shrieking about the ocean rising an inch or so because of the havoc wrought by the Industrial Revolution, they never take a moment to explain how it was that the Ice Age disappeared long before anyone had ever even heard of carbon emissions.

Something else I hear from liberals is that it’s naïve to build a fence between Mexico and the U.S. because a great many miles of the border consists of the Rio Grande River, and that cattle in both countries depend on it for water. When I first heard this argument, I thought my leg was being pulled. But by now I’ve discovered that whenever left-wingers say something really funny – even when it’s said by the likes of Joy Behar, David Letterman or Bill Maher – it’s unintentional.

So let me take this opportunity to point out that it is actually possible to build things in water. It makes you wonder how these lunkheads imagined the Brooklyn Bridge was erected. Someone should explain to these ninnies that although the span is above the waterline, the steel and concrete pillars are below. Therefore, to deal with the troubled waters of the Rio Grande, one wouldn’t need to build a Simon and Garfunkel bridge, but merely a fence that ran lengthways down the middle of the river.

For years, I have pointed out that whenever idiots wished to defend the evil cult known as Islam, they would inevitably bring up the Crusades, ignoring the fact that they were waged in response to Islamic savagery, and pretending that they had taken place last Thursday. So I guess I shouldn’t have been too shocked that at this year’s annual prayer breakfast, Barack Hussein Obama defended 21st century Islam by attacking 13th century Christians.

I know there are those who are deeply offended when people leap to the conclusion that Obama is a Muslim. I don’t know why that is. Understand, I’m not arguing that Obama is a Muslim. In any case, he certainly isn’t an observant one. After all, he drinks beer, watches Hollywood movies and he certainly doesn’t kneel to pray five times a day. But there’s no getting around the fact that he has an absolute phobia when it comes to identifying terrorists as Islamic and he exhibits none of the natural human desire to exterminate the vermin who behead and set ablaze their hostages in the name of Muhammad.

Besides, how would his being a Muslim be worse than being the sort of person who spends 20 years attending a church that claimed to be Christian, but whose minister delivered endless sermons demonizing America, white people and Israel, while simultaneously celebrating 9/11as a case of chickens coming home to roost?

Come to think of it, why would anyone defend someone whose entire life prior to his being elected President continues to be a mystery wrapped inside an enigma and tucked away in a bank vault?

I, for one, have never seen the travel visa he used as a young man, his college application, his academic records or even his wedding photos. Has anyone? Even the validity of his birth certificate has been a matter of legitimate concern.

We have never even been told under what circumstances he met Michelle, and although he didn’t get married until he was 30, not once has any woman come forward to claim she dated him in high school, college, law school or at any point in his 20s, even though fame and fortune anxiously awaited her.

How stupid and naïve does a person have to be to accept that there is nothing even slightly kinky about a man who has kept so many secrets under lock and key?

None of us, I dare say, would hire a babysitter or a handyman without knowing more about that person than we know about the phantom we’ve twice elected to be the President of the United States.

And, unfortunately, that says more about us than it does about him.