There is, of course, no such thing as an ideal candidate. Even I wouldn’t pass muster because, on a few rare occasions, I have changed my mind and I might therefore dismiss myself as an unreliable flip-flopper.

But, by and large, I would be happy to vote for someone who agreed with me on, say, 75% of the following issues: I’m against abortions and same-sex marriages. In the first instance, I refuse to accept that a baby can be both a little person whose birth is anxiously anticipated by large numbers of people, while in another case it can simply be removed like a wart. Either the little life is precious or it’s worthless, but it can’t be both simultaneously.

When it comes to same-sex marriages, my opposition isn’t based on hatred of gays, but because it is nonsensical. Society has its normative values, and they shouldn’t be tossed aside simply for the convenience of those who think “love” trumps everything.

I am in favor of capital punishment because the taking of an innocent life is either the worst crime imaginable or it isn’t, and I happen to believe it is. I also favor building more and larger prisons. Judging a society by its number of inmates, as liberals do, is pointless. The only nations that should be judged in that fashion are those tyrannies, such as Russia, China and Cuba, where people are incarcerated for what they think, not for what they do.

I oppose sanctuary cities because they are as illegal as the aliens they protect against federal prosecution. I would also arrest the mayors and city council members who are responsible for thumbing their collective noses at federal law. I also object to illegal aliens, be they Hispanic or Islamic, receiving social services of any kind and to granting citizenship to the children of those who are here illegally. After all, you cannot profit from the commission of a crime, and neither should your offspring. In addition, I would make illegal entry a felony, not a misdemeanor. Defending America’s sovereignty should not be equated with jaywalking.

I am for enlarging our military and am totally in favor of waging war against ISIS and other jihadists. What I oppose is nation-building or pretending that Islam is a peace-loving religion.

I would do away with the U.N., but would form a mutual defense treaty with Israel, thus announcing to Iran and other mullah-riddled Middle East regimes that an attack on Israel would constitute a declaration of war on the U.S.

I oppose trans-genders using the bathrooms, locker rooms and pronouns, of their choice. Being a freak should imply certain inconveniences, not being granted unwarranted privileges.

I oppose all forms of welfare for the able-bodied and oppose the minimum wage. The minimum wage is nothing more than a cheap trick the Democrats play on Hispanic aliens, the most ignorant members of their base. Actually, it’s a win-win for the liberals, because they receive kudos from those union members whose contracts are tied to the minimum wage, thus providing them with an automatic pay raise without the necessity of walking around in a circle chanting inane slogans and carting picket signs.

I oppose Obamacare and any other form of federal health care, but I would compel insurance companies to compete in all 50 states. Moreover, I would prevent their dropping customers whose premiums were all paid up simply because they had contracted a major life-threatening disease. Instead, I would see to it that every insurance company in the country contributed to a common fund that covered catastrophic injuries and illnesses.

I would fire any teacher and professor who used his status to promote his political agenda, even if it happened to be one I agreed with. A teacher’s primary responsibility is to teach the basic essentials while encouraging his or her charges to think for themselves.

In addition, I would immediately expel any student who disrupted the free expression of another, especially on the embarrassing grounds that whatever the person was expressing hurt their feelings. The first 10 Amendments to the Constitution, the students should have been taught early on, are the Bill of Rights, not the Bill of Suggestions.

There are probably a few other items I’ve neglected to mention, but you get the general idea.

And because I know that no one politician agrees with me about everything, the thing that matters the most isn’t which Republican wins the nomination, but that no Socialist, be it Clinton, Sanders, Biden or Elizabeth Warren, be elected. That’s because those people disagree with me about everything.

To those who have sworn they will stay home if their favorite, be it Trump, Cruz or Kasich, doesn’t garner the nomination, I say, as Reagan said about federal bureaucrats, you are part of the problem, not part of the solution.

If your partisanship is to a single candidate, not the nation, you are not, as you believe, a patriot; what you are is an uncompromising, self-indulgent, moron. As someone recently said on Fox, a candidate should be allowed to say, “Please compare me to the alternative, not to the Almighty.”

I have stated that, as harrowing as the jihadist attacks in France, Belgium, Germany and Spain, have been, the Europeans have spent the past several decades asking for it. When you allow people to come into your country, not because they bring with them marketable skills, shared values and a desire to adapt to your culture, but merely because they represent cheap labor, you should be aware that eventually you will reap the whirlwind. Recently, Greece intercepted a shipment of “furniture” bound for Islamic immigrants. The crates turned out to contain several tons of guns and ammo. I guess for a jihadist, that would be a case of sofa, so good. For thousands of potential Greek victims, not so good.

For Europeans as well as Americans, it should be yet another in a long series of wake-up calls. Anyone who believes you can live in peace with Islamic vipers and not suffer a day of reckoning is allowing political correctness to trump not merely their commonsense, but their sense of survival.

Even Israelis, who live with the reality day after day, and are forced to turn their apartments into bomb shelters, pay the price for this self-deluded lunacy every time a Palestinian in their midst knifes someone’s grandmother or butchers an entire family.

Speaking of which, a friend sent along a quote from Israel’s first Prime Minister, David Ben-Gurion: “In Israel, in order to be a realist, you must believe in miracles.”

Unfortunately, in America, in 2016, in order to be a realist, you must believe in Satan.

I am guessing that Cruz will be lucky to get 15% of the vote in the New York primary. But even if he hadn’t referred condescendingly to “New York values” during one of the debates, I doubt if he would have topped 16%. On the other hand, after seeing obnoxious New Yorkers cursing him to his face, I’ll wager his numbers went up in those states where people understood that his remark was not directed at the city’s first responders, but at its millions of knee-jerk leftists.

Although I would love to be known as “The Architect” the way Karl Rove is, I understand that some things are simply not meant to be. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know a thing or two about political game plans.

For instance, I believe I have even come up with a way for Donald Trump to reach the 1,237 vote plateau needed to wrap up the GOP nomination. I’m sure if I were on some politician’s payroll, I could come up with a fancy term for it, but basically it comes down to bribery.

Let us say, for instance, that Trump arrives at Cleveland 100 or 150 votes shy of the required number. My suggestion is that he sit down and write 100-150 one million-dollar checks.

I understand that it’s not exactly kosher, but why should Democrats be the only people who are allowed to buy votes?

At least Trump would be using his own money, not ours.