I admit it’s not easy picturing Bernie Sanders, the schnook from Brooklyn by way of Vermont as a Mafioso, but it’s obvious that he will make Hillary Clinton an offer she won’t be able to refuse. The offer will be to support her and not run as a third party candidate so long as he gets to create the Democratic platform in his own goofy image and that she remains as far to the left as he has moved her, and that she not try to sneak back to the middle in the general election.

If she tries to welsh on the deal, I’m sure Bernie is ready to reconstitute his children’s crusade and sink her in November.

However, I doubt if he will have to try to scare her by placing the head of a horse on her pillow. After all, for years Hillary was used to waking up and finding the opposite end of a horse in bed with her.

I confess I find it bizarre that Barack Obama scores a 51% favorable rating in recent polls, while only 46% view his record unfavorably. If I had been polled, perhaps I’d be among the missing 3% who despise him so much that it wouldn’t be enough to suggest we view him unfavorably. Unfavorably is how I happen to view ice hockey, the Home Shopping Network and Brussel sprouts, but I would happily spend an entire month watching HSN, while spending my evenings at hockey games while noshing on sprouts, if I could see Obama being led from the White House in handcuffs for having done his level best to turn America into a banana republic.

But perhaps it’s not so strange that so many knuckleheads continue to hold Obama in high esteem when you realize that FDR still scores high marks when liberals rate the presidents.

For openers, Roosevelt didn’t desegregate the military even during World War II for fear of offending southern Democrats who provided him with his veto-proof margins in Congress.

What’s more, if FDR had died just months earlier, the V.P. who would have succeeded him wouldn’t have been Harry Truman, but, instead, the Communist, Henry Wallace, who would, in 1948, run as the Progressive (Communist Party) presidential candidate.

If Wallace had inherited the presidency, the Rosenbergs wouldn’t have had to steal our atomic secrets; Wallace would have personally delivered them to Stalin. But, then, FDR never made any secret of the fact that he, himself, preferred Stalin to Churchill.

There is so little to admire about FDR that it astounds me that leftwing historians are still singing his praises. This was the man who put into practice what perennial Socialist candidate Norman Thomas had preached for 20 years.

FDR refused to actively engage in World War II, going so far as to deny a shipload of people escaping Hitler aboard the S.S. St. Louis to dock, condemning them to return to the clutches of the Nazis. He refused to deploy any of his political capital by confronting the anti-British contingent in Congress; instead, opting to sit by while the axis powers continued butchering innocent people in Europe, Africa and Asia. It was only the ill-advised attack on Pearl Harbor that finally got us off the dime.

In addition, it was his own anti-business tax policies that had prolonged the Great Depression, and it was he, alone, who vetoed the Air Force generals who pleaded for permission to bomb the railroad tracks leading to the Nazi concentration camps.

Speaking of the Jews that FDR sacrificed for reasons best known only to himself, one of the mysteries of history is why tyrants so often turn on Jews to their own personal disadvantage. Spain exiled the Jews; Russia terrorized huge numbers of them, forcing them to escape; Germany exterminated them; and, in the Middle East, the Arabs and Muslims, unable to make a decision, both exiled and killed them.

Whether in terms of culture, science or finances, there have been precious few groups of people who have even come close to matching the contributions that Jews have made to their native lands or the world at large.

In baseball, people are forever talking about bad trades, trades that wound up being such a one-sided blessing for one of the teams that you can’t even imagine what could have possibly possessed the other team’s management to even consider going through with the deal. But at least in the worst of the trades, both teams wound up with something to show for it. But the Spaniards, the Russians, the Germans and the Arabs, received nothing in return, unless, of course, you count contempt and derision.

Speaking of contempt and derision, what is one to make of the females who rally to support Mrs. Clinton, as she wraps herself in the mantle of Hillary, the pant-suited Defender of Womanhood? This is a person, after all, who in 1992 bragged that she wasn’t one of those stand-by-your-man types, but has defended Bill through one vile sex scandal after another throughout their marriage.

As recently as this year, as she campaigned for female votes with the slogan “Vote for Me Because I Have a Uterus,” she has said: “Every survivor of sexual assault deserves to be heard, believed and supported.”

Apparently the only exceptions would be those she dismissed as bimbos, tramps and trailer trash, assaulted by the turd to whom she’s married.

One could describe their marriage as one in which he habitually commits sex crimes and she drives the getaway car.

What’s more, she has happily accepted donations to their fraudulent Foundation from Arab and Muslim nations where women have fewer rights than camels. And let us never forget how happy she sounded when she got a guilty middle-aged client off with a wrist slap after he had raped a 12-year-old girl.

In one of those inevitable incidents, reminding us of the many times we said “Barack Obama” when we meant “Osama bin Laden” and vice versa, the location manager on my movie “Angels on Tap” alerted me that MSNBC anchor Steve Kornacki recently reported: “Right now, Bill Clinton is set to arrive at a suburban Pennsylvania court — uh, excuse me, Bill Cosby is set to arrive at a suburban Pennsylvania courthouse for a key hearing in his criminal sex assault case.”

In the 1960s, when LBJ created Medicare, the average lifespan in the U.S. was 65. Fifty years later, it’s soared to 79. I venture that a good part of the miracle can be attributed to advances in pharmaceuticals. That is why I find the non-stop campaign by the Left to demonize the industry so abominable.

Show me something, anything, accomplished by liberals, in spite of spending trillions upon trillions of our tax dollars, that even approaches a 21% increase in our average lifespan.

A friend sent me a joke that sums up how the world really works:

A father tells his son Charley: “I want you to marry a girl of my choice.” Charley says he won’t. The father tells him the girl is Bill Gates’ daughter. Charley says, “In that case, okay, I’ll marry her.”

The father next goes to Bill Gates and tells him he wants his son Charley to marry the billionaire’s daughter. Bill Gates says, “No way.” The father tells Gates Charley is the CEO of the World Bank. Bill Gates tells him to set the date.

The father then goes to the President of the World Bank and tells him to make his son Charley the CEO. The banker says he won’t. The father tells him Charley is the son-in-law of Bill Gates. The banker says: “Charley can have my office.”

In a somewhat related matter, a reader forwarded something that has been floating around on the internet nearly as long as I have. It shows a photo of a man with a woman who is identified as a super model, and then a second photo of the man with a different woman. But this woman is dressed like a normal person and, unlike the first woman, is not half-naked, wearing one of those revealing Victoria’s Secret outfits.

The payoff is that the man actually left the first woman because the second woman is the heiress to the Onassis fortune and is worth several billion dollars. The point being that money is the greatest cosmetic known to man. In this case, however, the problem is that the second woman is not only wealthier, but actually more attractive than the first.

But I have noticed for some time that although the term “super model” seems to work as an aphrodisiac on some men, in reality those ladies tend to be skin and bones who maintain their skeletal looks on a diet of lettuce, cocaine and plastic surgery, and who have all the sex appeal of a cantaloupe left in an abandoned refrigerator.