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April 1, 2017

The Un-United States of America

If you’ve watched even five minutes of Neil Gorsuch’s confirmation hearings, you can understand how badly divided the country is today.

If you’ve watched even five minutes of Neil Gorsuch’s confirmation hearings, you can understand how badly divided the country is today. The Democrats not only don’t want to see a justice on the Supreme Court who takes his marching orders from the Constitution, they see it as reason enough to deny him the position to which he is so obviously suited by education, experience and temperament.

When you further realize that their main objection to him, aside from the fact that he was nominated by Donald Trump, is that they fear he might one day vote to over-rule Roe v. Wade, you begin to grasp what a truly sick society we have become. When the belief that one half of 330 million people apparently hold most sacred is that women should have every right to take a human life if they feel like it, the question that springs to mind is whether the Islamic nutcases might have a point when they refer to us as the Big Satan.


I do wish President Trump would quit pushing the idea that Barack Obama wiretapped his campaign headquarters. It’s not even a question of whether the charge is true, but that it doesn’t matter. It’s as if Trump doesn’t yet accept the fact that he won the election. He’s been in the White House for over two months, and I’m flabbergasted by how much time he’s wasted talking about how he actually won the popular vote, drew the largest inauguration crowd ever and how he was illegally surveilled by his predecessor.

At times, it almost seems as if Trump has set out to replace The Boy Who Cried “Wolf” in the minds of most Americans with The Man Who Cried “Fake News.”

Someone in the President’s inner circle should remind him that if there’s one thing that most Americans dislike more than a sore loser, it’s a sore winner.

I think someone should also whisper in his ear that he should do us all a big favor and dump James Comey. He might even be able to get a shout-out from the Democrats if he pulled the plug on this yahoo. If he needs a reason beyond the man’s incompetence, he can point to the fact that in his testimony before a congressional committee, he acknowledged that he was conducting investigations into the allegations of Trump’s connection to Russia and the wiretapping of the Trump Tower, although both contentions rest solely on partisan rumor and innuendo.

However, he declined to state whether the FBI was investigating the outing of Michael Flynn, although the leaking of his name to the media was an obvious criminal act, a felony that calls for a fine and serious jail time.


The heinous rape of the 14-year-old girl by an illegal alien in a Maryland high school not only underscores the importance of Trump’s revising the way that illegal aliens were treated during Obama’s administration, but puts the hypocrisy of liberals on full display.

Montgomery, Maryland, is one of the most liberal counties in one of the most liberal states in the nation. They vote overwhelmingly for Democrats, and were unduly proud of the fact that 19 foreign languages are spoken in its school district. Unfortunately, English constitutes a foreign language for most of the kids. Imagine school teachers trying to cope with the modern Tower of Babel. The inability to speak English is the reason that an 18-year-old degenerate was stuck in a class with young teenagers.

The folks in Montgomery were naturally quite proud of the fact that their community was educating all these Dreamers, even if “educating” was understood to mean they were being warehoused in the sacred name of diversity. In the meantime, you can imagine what sort of education the American kids were getting while the teachers were being paid to babysit this mob.

But, suddenly, one of their little girls is raped and sodomized, and they hold meetings to decide if they want to risk being labeled “haters” by the Washington Post and by their fellow liberals in surrounding communities who haven’t yet had one of their own children victimized by a thug whose only dream is to ravage or kill.

In the meantime, Jack Smith, the school superintendent for the county, continues to flash his liberal credentials by responding to the vile crime with the question that serves as a mantra for liberals whenever they are caught in the crosshairs of reality: “Who are we as a nation?”

It appears that who too many of us are, Mr. Smith, are the sort of holier-than-thou creeps who put feeling good about themselves above the safety and education of their kids.


For years now, whenever I’ve seen Sen. Lindsey Graham on TV, I’ve found myself thinking he reminds me of someone. But I couldn’t put my finger on it. I’d run old-time actors and even cartoon characters through my mind as if it were a police line-up, but I always came up empty. It was only the other day when I saw him railing against Donald Trump in that prissy little voice that I realized he reminded me of the cliché maiden aunts who used to pop up regularly on TV and in the movies, best remembered as Andy Griffith’s Aunt Bee, Batman’s Aunt Harriet and Andy Hardy’s Aunt Millie.


Jimmy Breslin, the New York columnist who made his name and his fortune posing as a guy who carried a lunch pail to work, recently passed away. In certain circles, he was a beloved figure. It just goes to show how easily the media can manipulate images. I always wondered how beloved he would have been if it had been widely known that he took pride in funneling money to the IRA back in the day when it was a full-fledged terrorist group spilling Protestant blood all over Ireland.

Breslin once defined media as plural for mediocrity. In his case, it was certainly true, but didn’t go nearly far enough.


I believe that one of the main reasons that America has fallen on such hard times is because so many of our young people have been raised on a diet of superheroes named Batman, Superman, the Green Hornet, Darkman, the Wolverine, Blade, the Phantom, Hulk, Spider-Man and the Shadow — characters who often wore masks and other disguises, could leap over tall buildings and have bullets bounce off their chests.

The real-life heroes they don’t know beans about were named James Madison, Thomas Jefferson, George Mason, John Adams, Patrick Henry and George Washington. Even though those guys weren’t impervious to bullets, they took on the mightiest army in the world in pursuit of freedom.

They thought that certain rights were inalienable — speech, religion and a free press among them — and were willing to fight and die for an idea.

Today, liberal students and their professors, egged on by a partisan press, feel themselves entitled, even obliged, to silence speech with which they disagree. At the same time, politicians and judges feel they have the right to compel people to act in opposition to their religious beliefs, and newspapers and TV networks consider the promotion of globalism and socialism their singular purpose in life.

If you accuse them of being little better than the propagandists who served solely at the whim of tyrants like Stalin and Hitler, they wrap themselves in the cocoon of the First Amendment. But I doubt if any of the Founders ever imagined that the Amendment would be used to shield liars, hypocrites and bullies.

Is it any wonder that there are millions of Americans who consider people like Julian Assange and Edward Snowden every bit as heroic as Batman and Robin, and for no other reason than that they shared America’s security secrets with our sworn enemies? And, yet, these idol worshippers never stop and wonder why these two scumbags never get around to divulging the state secrets of Vladimir Putin, Xi Jinping, Kim Jong-un or the Iranian mullahs.


It was in 2009 that I posted an article in which I wrote the following: “Frankly, I don’t know what it is about California, but we seem to have a strange urge to elect really obnoxious women to high office. I’m not bragging, you understand, but no other state even comes close. When it comes to sending left-wing dingbats to Washington, we’re number one. There’s no getting around the fact that the last time anyone saw the likes of Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, Maxine Waters and Nancy Pelosi, they were stirring a cauldron as the curtain went up on ‘Macbeth.’ The four of them are like jackasses who happen to possess the gift of speech. You don’t know if you should condemn them for their stupidity or simply marvel at their ability to form words.”

In the years since, those words have circled the globe several times. Every week or so, someone I’ve never heard of sends along an email commending me. Normally, it would delight me. Unfortunately, the person who sent it viral made two mistakes that I have spent eight years trying to correct. I’m hoping if I do so this one last time, it will free me from having to ever do so again.

The first mistake was that he attached a statement he attributed to Dianne Feinstein saying something stupid about veterans, thus leading people to assume I was responding to her idiotic comment. The fact is, I was responding to everything those four crones had ever said or done.

The second lie was that he identified me as a columnist for the L.A. Times, suggesting that was where I had vilified the ladies. While it’s true that between 1967 and 1978, I had written a weekly humor column for the paper, it was now 2009. During those 31 years, the Times had shifted as far to the Left as I had to the Right.

To be fair, I suppose the guy responsible thought he was doing me a great favor by sharing my words with the world. I just hope that one day he will introduce himself, so that I and my little gun can thank him properly.

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