Sell, Sell, Sell!
Fifty years ago, I was an advertising copywriter at what was widely regarded as the most creative ad agency in the world.
Fifty years ago, I was an advertising copywriter at what was widely regarded as the most creative ad agency in the world. Year after year, the copywriters and art directors would win most of the national awards. But I couldn’t help noticing that by the time the awards had been bestowed, many of the clients had moved on to other agencies. In fact, the most financially successful agencies never won any awards, they just made enormous amounts of money.
I don’t imagine that the creative staff at those less imaginative agencies derived much personal satisfaction from producing commercials like the one that showed a cartoon of a person’s head being whacked with a little hammer, while an off-screen voice promised that with their pain-reliever, consumers would experience fast-fast-fast relief.
The most successful agencies both in New York and L.A. had discovered that you didn’t have to be smart and funny to sell aspirin, you just needed to repeat the commercial often enough to give viewers a headache of their own, and the product would start flying off the shelves.
The Democrats remind me of those agencies. For the past year, they were demanding James Comey’s head on a platter, but no sooner had Donald Trump granted their wish then they were all over the place — on TV, in the press and taking to the floor of the Senate — to proclaim Comey a political martyr, condemning Trump as a tyrant and insisting that the nation was undergoing a fascistic coup.
The Democrats had discovered long ago that when it comes to politics, eloquence, logic and honesty, placed them at a distinct disadvantage. What matters most, whether peddling socialism or aspirin, is repetition and making certain that everyone is reading their dialogue from the same script.
The progressives understand that most people have so little knowledge of what the Constitution actually says that, amidst all the chatter about a constitutional crisis, it would never occur to the voters to check out the actual document. Otherwise, they would understand that Trump was well within his presidential rights to fire the director of the FBI for any reason under the sun, including Comey’s excessive height. But, then, most Americans didn’t seem to know or care that Barack Obama spent eight years using the Constitution as his own personal roll of toilet paper.
Speaking of black politicians who are a discredit to their race, Rep. Maxine Waters dared to call Attorney General Jeff Sessions a racist because “he comes from a time and place where bigotry was acceptable.” Such a remark is not merely stupid and an insult to the entire South, but coming from Waters, who has spent a third of her 78 years in Congress spouting the nastiest sort of racist rhetoric, it constitutes the last word in hypocrisy.
This is a woman who insists that blacks, including those who committed murder during the Watts riots, are always innocent victims, and that the riots weren’t really riots, but a justifiable rebellion against white oppression.
Someone should explain to her that a rebellion is when American patriots toss English tea overboard, not when thugs cart home stolen TVs, shoes, microwaves and cases of booze.
Maxine Waters is the Left’s idea of a folk hero, but that should come as no surprise. After all, Senator Robert Byrd and Supreme Court Justice Hugo Black, both former members of the Klan, wound up as liberal icons.
Whether black or white, those on the Left have no problem clasping racists to their collective bosom, just so long as they’re Democrats.
At Harvard, the black students have decided they want their own graduation ceremony, separate from their white classmates. So, it seems that “separate but equal,” which back in the old days was determined to be a racist policy that had to be eradicated from America, is now acceptable, so long as it’s promoted by blacks.
Yet another illegal alien has struck a child while driving drunk. When arrested, it was discovered that he had been deported on 15 separate occasions. Apparently, deportation, at least until Trump gets his wall built, consists of having American taxpayers financing the deportee’s vacations home to visit friends and relatives in Mexico.
One of the many oddities of Democrats is how quickly they go from adoring the likes of Neil Gorsuch and Rod Rosenstein, whom they voted overwhelmingly to confirm for positions in the federal court system and the Justice Department, respectively, until the day that love flies out the window.
Then, instead of being philosophical about the break-up, the Democrats rapidly descend to name-calling and the sort of acrimony one generally associates with such Hollywood divorces as Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown, Kim Bassinger and Alec Baldwin, and even Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
In fact, the only real difference is that when the Democrats decide there are irreconcilable differences in the relationship, two sets of lawyers don’t start licking their chops.
It required a jet plane, a helicopter and a 14-car convoy to transport Barack Obama to a recent climate change conference. This came after Obama spent a few weeks yachting around the south Pacific. For all of his deep and abiding concern about what the rest of us are doing to the atmosphere, the schmuck never thinks twice about leaving a carbon footprint in his wake the size of Kansas.
I continue watching Fox, but I must confess it’s getting harder and harder. I finally gave up on Megyn Kelly before she moved on because I couldn’t stand having to listen to Richard Fowler, whom she had on at least twice-a-week. Now, it’s Tucker Carlson who keeps testing my patience by constantly inviting on some young bald guy named Zach, who appears to be both gay and on speed, and is just as ignorant as Fowler, but doesn’t dress as well.
When you add to the mix Juan Williams, Geraldo Rivera, Bob Beckel and Chris Wallace, who is obviously as liberal as his late father, but at least makes an effort to conceal his bias, I’m left wondering why a few wealthy Republicans don’t put together a consortium and offer conservatives an alternative to Fox, where we wouldn’t have to keep hitting the fast-forward button on our remotes to get past the juvenile prattle.
I keep getting the urge to buy an airline ticket for myself and one for our dog Angel. Then, when some airline thug tried to make me give up her seat, I could wind up suing United, Delta or one of the others, for several million dollars.
Frankly, after hearing rumors about the size of the payoff that Dr. Dao received in compensation for losing a tooth, I’m surprised that a lot more people haven’t started playing the Airline Lottery.
Speaking of Angel, I’m thinking of getting my little Sherlock a pipe, a magnifying glass and a deer-stalker cap. The way she sniffs every tree, every bush, seemingly every blade of grass, when she takes me, her own personal Dr. Watson, for a walk, it’s as if she’s trying to solve a murder mystery.
On the other hand, perhaps she’s merely checking her pee-mail.
