An Aborted Life: The Thoughts and Dreams of Baby Annie
It was the period before Time — better known as Eternity Past. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit opened the Book of Life. In it they wrote down her name.
Her beauty was angelic. Her features were flawless. Her heart was tender. Her birth was predestined. Her parents were chosen. Annie’s life to come was joyfully celebrated. The triune God along with the angels of heaven were eager for the day when little Annie would be conceived.
Annie’s future was to be a bright one. Not only would she bring extreme joy to her parents, she would also be the one to reconcile them to God through the miracle of her birth. Annie would bring hope and relief to millions. As she grew she would become a medical doctor, and God would use Annie to discover the cure to a cursed disease that had taken the lives of so many in the world.
But wait. Eternity Past would first need to intersect with Time — for a few short millenniums.
As time briefly took center stage, the day of Annie’s conception approached. And then it arrived. Annie’s first moment of life began as her parents, yet unwed, succumbed to their desires. While their passion was driven by pleasure, it resulted in the blessing of Annie’s life. God had ordained her precious life. As He looked upon that moment, knowing that Annie was not conceived according to His laws, God still loved Annie and her parents. In fact, it had been known in Eternity Past that Annie’s life would begin in this manner. It did not change God’s master plan.
Those first moments of Annie’s life turned to days, and days to weeks. As they did, Annie’s little body began to take form. As she began to grow, the first hints of thought began to materialize. Annie’s little brain, not yet completely formed, was nonetheless beginning to recognize sensations, warmth, sounds, even light. She was unsure of what she was sensing, but she felt safe… secure… wanted… loved. It was a feeling that she could not yet describe, but she relished it. She felt at ease. She instinctively knew that she was where she belonged.
The weeks passed and as they did she began to hear sounds. Melodious sounds. Music that gave her pleasure. She also heard a steady continuous sound that never ceased. In fact, it was two sounds. One faster, the other slower. One louder, the other softer. Thump, thump, thumpity-thump. Her heart and that of her mommy’s often lulled her to sleep.
But she also heard what she would soon come to know as voices. The higher one was always with her. The lower sound would sometimes be there — although it sounded a little more distant. Annie instinctively knew that the higher sound would always care for and love her. But that lower sound was mysterious, one she also longed to meet. Annie’s heart accelerated whenever she heard those two sounds together. They were sounds that she loved deeply.
As Annie became more aware of these sounds and emotions she became even more at ease. She felt so peaceful in this warm place. She would sleep often and as she did, she would dream.
Annie wasn’t quite sure how to relate to what she dreamed of since the thoughts she had were not borne out by any experience. But it was as if Someone was supernaturally guiding Annie’s thoughts and interpreting her dreams for her. She envisioned the smile of her father. She dreamt of the caresses of her mother. While she felt safe inside her mother, she also longed to see and touch the one who was bearing her. She sensed that this warm place was temporary — that there was a better place for her. Her dreams affirmed this. And so she began to grow restless to see the ones she had dreamt of often.
As the weeks had now turned into many months, Annie longed for something else. She felt confined. It was becoming more difficult to stretch her legs and arms. The continuous thumpity-thump she now understood was her heart and her mommy’s. The sounds she now knew as voices. The low one was her daddy’s and the higher one was her mommy’s. Her dreams had revealed these things to her and so she longed to meet them. She could sense that the time was growing near.
As she began to sense the day was approaching, she suddenly heard the thumpity-thump sound of her mommy’s heart accelerate to a pace she had never heard before. Instantly she felt something she had never sensed. It’s as if the fear of her mommy had been transferred to her. Annie’s own heart began to speed up. She knew something was not right. For the first time in her existence she felt fear. She no longer felt secure, safe, or protected.
And then it happened. An intense moment of pain. Her cry was silent. No one heard her. Annie writhed in pain. She attempted to pull away from the pain. She tried to grasp her mommy but the pain just grew exponentially. The sound of her own heart had accelerated to such a rapid pace that it seemed like one continuous thump. She thought her heart would explode. The pain was more than she could bear. She screamed one last time, hoping her mommy would save her. And once more, no one heard Annie.
And then it stopped…
The thump was gone. The sounds were gone. The feeling was gone. No more. Annie was gone. Her body was limp… bleeding… lifeless… apart…
Annie’s Mommy lay there, weeping as the procedure continued. For an instant she almost thought she heard her little baby crying. The physical pain Annie’s mommy felt was dwarfed by the emotional trauma and guilt she was enduring. What had she done? Why had she done this? The precious life inside her was gone, forever, never to be restored.
Just as quickly as all had stopped for Annie, God’s little one instantly found herself in the presence of the Author of Life. Annie’s delicate rosy cheeks were wet with the tears of loss. Her life inside her mommy was over, but her eternal life had just begun. The dreams she’d had were not to be. The joy she would bring to her parents would not occur. The cure that God had desired for her to bring to the world was lost — and many more would die because of her own death. As she thought of her mommy and daddy, whom she had never met, her body quivered with emotion and the tears continued to flow.
But as Annie looked up, she saw the face of a Glorious Man, and His voice said, “Come to me little child.” As Jesus spoke, He stooped down and wiped Annie’s tears dry, and as He did, Annie felt the embrace that she had dreamt of so often. She knew she was now safe and secure forever.
“Oh that you would choose life…” —Deuteronomy 30:18
“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” —Luke 6:31
“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” —Psalms 139:13, 15-16
“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” —Jeremiah 1:5
“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.” —Psalms 127:3