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Burt Prelutsky / Sep. 30, 2019

Sermons on the Hill

An odd thing is occurring this political season. Those on the Left have donned their pastoral robes and are delivering political speeches gussied up to sound like they're being delivered from the Mount.

An odd thing is occurring this political season. Those on the Left have donned their pastoral robes and are delivering political speeches gussied up to sound like they’re being delivered from the Mount.

For instance, Peter Buttigieg, still the mayor of South Bend, Indiana, is telling everyone within earshot that religion should never be used as a cudgel. That’s what he says just before questioning V.P. Mike Pence’s Christian faith and announcing that there’s no way God would ever think about being a Republican.

At the same time that the sodomite is denouncing Republicans, it was recently discovered after the death of abortionist Ulrich Klopfer who plied his bloody trade in South Bend that he had stashed the fetal remains of 2,236 of his tiny victims in his basement.

And yet Mayor Buttigieg was extremely reluctant to even comment on the gruesome discovery. Because to do so would be to question abortions in general and Planned Parenthood in particular. To do either would mean political annihilation for the mayor or any other Democrat seeking the presidency.

With a name like Ulrich Klopfer, one half-suspects he did his internship under the steely gaze of Dr. Mengele. I suspect that when Kermit Gosnell, currently behind bars for his own record number of bungled abortions, got wind of the number of tiny lives that Klopfer had ended, his reaction was “How many?! Not possible. Did the man never sleep?”

Another self-identified theological authority, none other than Ilhan Omar, who is also a part-time tax cheat and adulteress, told a crowd of worshippers that “God expects you to vote for Democrats.”

After which, Nancy Pelosi is rumored to have said: “Amen. I guess she’s not such a bad kid, after all. It’s not her fault her religion calls for the killing of Jews.”

Jerry Nadler, who isn’t a rabbi, but plays one on television, reminded all of us “Don’t oppress the stranger, as it says in the Commandment.”

I’m not sure about all the details but apparently Nadler tripped while following Moses down the mountain. Unfortunately, he was carrying the tablet containing the other 10 Commandments, which included the one about not oppressing the stranger, but also involved the do’s and don'ts when it comes to butting in line, jaywalking, turning off cell phones in movie theaters, littering, swiping candy from the bins in supermarkets, chewing with your mouth open, running indoors while carrying scissors, flossing after every meal and stepping on cracks and thus breaking one’s mother’s back.

If Nadler hadn’t tripped and cracked the tablet, those Commandments were to serve as the backbone of what was to be known as the Newest Testament.

Rep. Ken Buck (R, CO) opposes red flag laws that would allow cops to confiscate the guns from law-abiding Americans. He decided to put the hypocrisy of Democrats on full display by proposing an amendment to the bill that would require the authorities to also confiscate the guns of gang members.

Just as Buck expected they would, the House Democrats voted it down, even though gangbangers commit 90% of the violent crimes in this country and 90% of the murders.

As Buck proved, the Democrats don’t care about diminishing violence in America. Why should they take it personally? They and their families are always well-protected because, as we all know, members of Congress are virtually irreplaceable.

Whereas all the other contenders say stupid things, Joe Biden increasingly says crazy things. His latest statement called for government-provided childcare, “which would put 720 million women back in the work force.”

Even for Biden, that calls for a “Whoa, Nellie!”

Inasmuch as there are only about 165 million females in America, and that’s counting little girls and ladies in their 80s and 90s, Biden must now be going after female votes in Canada, Mexico, maybe even Russia and China.

Just for the sake of the cheap laughs Biden is sure to provide, I would consider showing up at one of his rallies. But how do you explain 20,000 people showing up to listen to school marm Elizabeth Warren prattle on for four hours? Even scarier, some of them stood in line for an additional four hours just for the chance to take a selfie with Mrs. Geronimo.

One of the most pathetic things about politics today is the way that millions of people are betraying their own convictions in the name of political correctness.

I would wager that if you asked the majority of registered Democrats to honestly admit where they stand on certain issues, they wouldn’t line up with any of the people likely to be their party’s standard bearer in 2020.

For instance, I don’t believe that most of them are in favor of open borders; abortions on demand through the third trimester and beyond; reparations for people who were never slaves; free health care, drivers licenses and free college for illegal aliens; invalidating the Second Amendment; not prosecuting drug pushers; allowing transgenders to use the bathrooms of their choice; homosexual Scout leaders; higher taxes; generational welfare families; or sanctuary cities and states.

The reasons for their continuing to pledge their allegiance to those whose agendas conflict with their own is, I believe, a combination of two things.

First, it’s a matter of habit. They grew up in homes that voted for people like Harry Truman, John Kennedy and Henry “Scoop” Jackson and in many non-religiously observant homes, politics was the touchstone in their lives. They were born to be Democrats and, by gum, they’ll die as Democrats.

I know of what I speak. I was one of those people. It took four years of Jimmy Carter to finally spring me loose from what I felt to be almost a religious obligation. But after growing up in a home where one president waged war against Hitler and another was among the first to recognize the state of Israel, it wasn’t easy. Both my parents died before I voted for Ronald Reagan, but I recall wondering at the time whether my parents would have been shocked and disappointed or if I could have persuaded them that, as Reagan described his own conversion, I didn’t leave the party; the party left me.

The second reason is because of a non-stop media campaign that has portrayed President Trump as Satan and his supporters as racists and neo-Fascists. The campaign has gone on for so long in the newspapers they read and the cable news stations they watch, that their brains have become a sodden mess of vicious lies and misleading sound bites. As a result, like Pavlov’s dogs, they have been programmed to support the moronic, anti-Capitalist, anti-Semitic, fantasists calling for an end to fossil fuel, cheeseburgers, plastic straws and, by the way, the U.S. Constitution.

Recently, I had the novel pleasure of seeing a panel on Bret Baier’s Fox show that wasn’t weighted down by the presence of some left-wing jackass, such as Clarence Page, Leslie Marshall, Ethan Bearman, Chris Hahn, Richard Goodstein, Mo Elleithee, Bob Woodward or Juan Williams.

The panelists, Susan Ferrechio of the Washington Examiner; Jeanne Zaino, a poli sci professor at Iona College; and Ben Domenech, editor at the Federalist; were generally in agreement about a book trashing Justice Brett Kavanaugh, but they offered different facts and different interpretations of those facts.

Perhaps in time, Fox will come to realize that people talking over each other, especially when one or two of them are lunatics, doesn’t make for must-see TV.

Maybe the bosses will even come to understand that “fair and balanced” doesn’t mean balancing off honest, sensible reporters like Mollie Hemingway with left-wing partisans parroting DNC-provided sound bites.

When will they realize that if we want to spend our time listening to pointless jabbering, we have the choice of visiting the monkey house at our local zoo or switching over to CNN or MSNBC?

John Lewis sent along a picture of a sign outside a bar alerting people that “All Democrats Must Be Accompanied By An Adult.”

Joe Neuner sent along what purports to be a student’s answer to a pop quiz.

Q. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? A. At the bottom of the page.

Q. The Red River flows in which state? A. Liquid.

Q. What is the main cause of divorce? A. Marriage.

Q. What looks like half an apple? A. The other half.

Q. If you throw a red stone into a blue lake, what will it become? A. Wet.

Q. How can a man go 12 days without sleeping? A. Easy. He sleeps at night.

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? A. You really think a raw egg can crack a concrete floor?

These may strike you as simplistic questions. But just for the heck of it, try asking them of Democrats and be prepared to fall down laughing.

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