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Burt Prelutsky / Jul. 25, 2020

You've Been Warned!

Even though Joe Biden has been hunkered down in his bunker for months and not taken a single hard question from any of the trained monkeys who are allowed access to him, we pretty much know what a Biden agenda would look like.

Even though Joe Biden has been hunkered down in his bunker for months and not taken a single hard question from any of the trained monkeys who are allowed access to him, we pretty much know what a Biden agenda would look like.

Team Biden has released a you-should-excuse-the-expression white paper. It’s white, but it has the fingerprints of Bernie Sanders, A O-C and Eric Holder, all over it.

It promises to end cash bail, not just in New York, but across the land. That means criminals will be released on their own recognizance with the promise of returning for their day in court. We have seen how well that system works with the illegal aliens who promised to return to be interviewed by a federal judge who would determine their status.

Biden would end the appeal of suburbs by abolishing single family dwellings and replacing them with federally-subsidized housing for those on welfare, introducing to the burbs the crime-infested developments that are the blight of big cities like Chicago and New York.

The Democrats have caught on that it’s mainly white people who have escaped to the suburbs in order to get away from crime and violence, and they’ll have none of that. Except, of course, when it comes to their politicians, who are well-protected wherever they are.

It used to be said that people couldn’t run away from their past, their sins, themselves or Dodge City. But going forward, under the Biden regime, they will no longer be able to run away from slums, crime and poverty.

The Democrats will also be bringing kangaroo courts back to college campuses so that any male student accused of sexual misconduct of any kind will be automatically presumed guilty and open to suspension or banishment on the word alone of a female.

The plan would also do away with school vouchers or tax breaks so parents, particularly poor and black parents, would lack any say in what schools their children attend.

Frankly, when it comes to school, I’m not sure if it’s a plus or a minus if kids even attend since starting as early as first grade the kids are being indoctrinated every bit as much as if they were attending school in Moscow or Beijing.

I was lucky enough to attend grammar school in the late 40s and early 50s. As a result, I was able to learn to read, write, do math problems and discover that, for all its missteps along the way, America was a miraculous and decent nation, which explained why so many people who weren’t lucky enough to be born here, give up so much to come here.

On the other hand, it was years before I learned the proper method for putting a prophylactic on a banana.

Moving on, the Federal Reserve would be entrusted to determine if blacks are paid less than whites and, if so, to make up the difference.

In this bright new Bidenesque world, deportations would end and voting rights would be given to the 25 million illegal aliens currently living within our borders. Sorry, I mean their borders.


The Democrats are once again demanding to see Donald Trump’s tax returns. I’m not interested because, for one thing, I don’t think it’s any of my business. For another, if I’m going to read anything that long, it better have a plot.

But I say if we get to see Trump’s returns, I want to see everyone’s. Okay, not everyone’s, just those of the people making the most noise about the President’s, starting with New York’s D.A., Cyrus Vance, Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi, but including everyone in Congress, on cable news, and definitely Joe and Hunter Biden.


When you see strange-looking creatures, such as camels, armadillos and giraffes, it’s easy to imagine God daydreaming at his desk doodling on His notepad. When He noticed the goofy drawings, I can imagine His saying to Himself: “What the heck, why not see how they’d look in three dimensions?”

Naturally, later on, Satan, jealous bastard that he is, muttered to himself: “He’s not the only one who can dream up weird creatures.”

And before you knew it, we were all up to our keesters in Democrats.

People generally assume the word comes from democracy, but it actually derives from demon.


Recently, while watching the Tracy-Hepburn classic comedy, “Adam’s Rib,” I learned how the script by the husband and wife writing team of Ruth Gordon and Garson Kanin came to be written.

While on a long drive from the city to their country place, Kanin asked his wife to tell him a story to break up the monotony of the trip. She proceeded to tell him that when the actor Raymond Massey was divorcing his first wife, they were represented by a husband and wife team of lawyers. By the time their divorce was final, the two lawyers were also divorced. And the Masseys then married their now-single lawyers.

And that, boys and girls, is how scripts get written. That is, if you’re lucky and also have talent.


Although I never cared for Roger Stone, just another smooth Washington operator in my book, I was glad to hear that the President commuted his sentence a few days before he was set to enter prison for the next 42 months. I was glad because Stone was an early ally of candidate Trump, and friends don’t let friends go to jail, when their only crime was backing the wrong horse, so far as the Deep Staters were concerned.

If Mrs. Clinton had won, Stone would never have even been prosecuted. He would have been as free as a bird, just like James Comey, John Brennan, Andrew McCabe, Bruce Ohr, James Clapper, Peter Strzok, Lisa Page, Susan Rice, Barack Obama, Joe Biden and Mrs. Clinton, who actually did commit high crimes.


The Left is naturally outraged that Stone won’t die in prison. They will accuse Trump of essentially busting a criminal out of jail. It was far more to their liking when Bill Clinton, on his final day in office, commuted or pardoned a number of truly evil characters, including fugitive financier/swindler Marc Rich, who had been a major contributor – with other people’s money – to the Clinton Foundation; and Susan Rosenberg, who was just 16 years into a 58 year sentence for terrorist activities, which included bombings of federal buildings and a Brinks robbery in Nyack, New York, in which two cops were killed.


With the way that Colin Kaepernick has been lionized, it occurred to me that there could soon be a move to make his birthday a national holiday. That led me to check out what date that would be. It turns out he made his first personal appearance on November 3, 1987.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could all agree to celebrate his 33rd birthday by re-electing Donald Trump?


You might think what is going on in this country is unimaginable, but it’s not.

George Orwell did more than imagine it, he forecast it in “1984.” He did so by noticing what had already taken place in the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany.

He would have been saddened, but not surprised, to see that Antifa, a presumably anti-Fascist group, behaves exactly like Fascists. He would not have been shocked to see the BLM mob, presumably anti-racist, behaving far more violently than the police they’re attempting to get eliminated. Orwell would love the irony of their anti-racism focusing entirely on the alleged racism of white people.

These black racists are like alcoholics who have convinced themselves that their demons have driven them to drink only to discover, if they ever join A.A. and sober up, that their real demons all exist in a bottle.


Because some of the photos in my headers show me walking Angel, although you’ll notice that she’s always walking ahead of me, so its definitely open to question who’s walking whom.

But a few kind people have taken me to task for walking her on the sidewalk, although one was slightly carried away and claimed it was asphalt when it is clearly concrete.

In my defense, I will state that my main reason for putting a fence around the front yard was so she would do her business while I sat on the porch and read a book. But she refused to oblige. So I was compelled to walk her unless I wanted to see her explode.

She does determine our route. When we reach the sidewalk, we either go right to encircle our block or she turns left and we circle the block counterclockwise. Occasionally, when we reach the end of our block, she’ll elect to cross the street and come back on the opposite side of Dearborn.

On those rare occasions, we do spend about four or five seconds walking on asphalt as we cross the street.

But the point is, she seems impervious to heat. After all, if she wished to walk on grass, she could spend 90% of her walk on grass. Everyone in the neighborhood has a front lawn. But the only time she goes on the grass is to eat it (obviously what she subsisted on as a lost puppy and that now represents comfort food), to investigate mysterious odors and to do her business.

My late wife spent every summer of her young life in Michigan going barefoot. As a result, even as an adult, she could comfortably stroll around barefoot on surfaces so hot I could feel it through my socks and tennis shoes.

Clearly Angel takes after her mother. I can only accept she has her own odd ways, as does her doting father.

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