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I asked our team to pause for family time this week before kids return to school. The homepage is updated daily. The Digest returns on Monday, August 2. —Mark Alexander

Burt Prelutsky / Apr. 10, 2021

Voting Rights & Wrongs

“The Democrats want cheap votes; the Republicans want cheap labor.”

The Democrats are always ready and anxious to insist that any move to ensure free and fair elections is an attempt by Republicans to disenfranchise black voters.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I wouldn’t love to decrease the number of voters who, 95% of the time, cast their ballots for any dumb schmuck with a D after his or her name. But to be fair, I’d love to disenfranchise Jews, who vote 75% of the time for those same louts, even if it cost me my vote.

The Democrats have been arguing for as long as I can remember that even something as commonsensical as photo IDs discriminate against poor blacks, although they never mention poor whites who, you would assume, would also be discriminated against at election time.

Still, even after all these years, the Democrats have yet to turn up a single black hermit who lacks the ability to buy booze or cigarettes, cash a check, purchase prescription drugs, rent a room, buy a home, drive a car, board a plane or even enter a courtroom.

In fact, voting is one of the very few things a person can do without producing a photo ID, and, yet, as the Democrats never get tired of repeating, voting is the single most important, even sacred, things a citizen can do.

Finally, what does it tell you about a political party that they feel that in order to win a presidential election, they have to cheat?

Or as Pat Miano put it: “The Democrats want cheap votes; the Republicans want cheap labor.”

After I suggested that we start shooting illegal aliens trying to sneak into our country, Mike Niederberger pointed out that “The first bullet-riddled body of a child would tear at the heartstrings of all the mothers across the nation. And of course, the media would blame guns and Republicans.

I explained that I had already considered all that. It wasn’t my intention to turn the Rio Grande red with blood. I want the threat of bloodshed to deter the flow of illegal aliens. I would do this by staging the first 20 or 30 shootings by hiring the most thuggish-looking Latinos I could find at Central Casting, pretending to be casting for a remake of "Treasure of the Sierra Madre,” and them pretend to be shot while trying to cross the river. The cameras would keep rolling as their bloody bodies floated down the river.

Of course, if running the dramatic footage on the TVs down in Mexico and Central America didn’t do the job, we would have no recourse but to start using real bullets. But at least they couldn’t pretend they hadn’t been warned.

Niederberger got back to me, saying he knew it was all wishful thinking.

I admitted as much but concluded with “The best thing about wishful thinking is that the Democrats can’t stop it or tax it. At least not yet.”

Although those on the Left keep accusing those of us on the Right of being uncivil, the very gay CNN anchor Don Lemon recently proclaimed that “If you voted for Trump, you voted for the person who the Klan supported. You voted for the person who Nazi’s support.”

I, for one, have gotten sick and tired of being called names by the ignoramuses on the Left. I say it’s time we entered the fray and we can begin by no longer referring to them as Socialists. From now on, I intend to call them Communists. After all, the two have become synonymous. But Communism still has a Soviet stench about it, whereas, because of the schools and the media, the young cupcakes have come to think of Socialism as synonymous with Santa Claus.

Perhaps because of my moratorium on jokes, the memes have been flooding in. It’s time to unload some before I’m buried in them.

Sandra Duncan sent along a three paneled item, all showing Joe Biden. In the first, dated February 16, 2021, Biden is bragging “We didn’t have the vaccine when we came into office.”

In the panels dated December 21, 2020, and January 11, 2021,“ we see Joe Biden receiving his two vaccine shots.

Included in Ms. Duncan’s batch was "The Media went through Kavanaugh’s high school yearbook with a fine-tooth comb but can’t be bothered checking out Hunter Biden’s laptop.”

“Only in America can you find a kid wearing $150 tennis shoes, drinking a $5 cup of coffee, talking on his $1000 cell phone, and complaining on social media that he is oppressed, and that Capitalism has failed.”

Stupidity defined as “Watching a President create one of the strongest economies in American history during a pandemic, with a vaccine just around the corner, and then voting for the other guy.”

Some people claim that religion is dead in America. I can’t say that with any certainty, but if it is, I’d suggest the blame lays in good part to religious leaders who have stood by silently while petty dictators have used the virus as an excuse to slam the doors of churches and synagogues in the faces of their congregants.

The First Amendment does not guarantee freedom of religion except when certain governors don’t feel like granting it.

One thing, though, is certain. Whether or not you’ve noticed, for a great many people, politics has taken the place of religion. Democrats, in particular, has accepted certain public policies as dogma. True believers are expected to believe that black Americans command the moral high ground, and whoever dares to question their right to that lofty position is a racist and is likely to be a white supremacist and suffering from male toxicity.

A devout Democrat is also expected to believe that those who are guilty of sneaking into the United Sates are harder-working, more honest and, in every way imaginable, superior to the native-born.

Only an apostate would question spending tax dollars on non-citizens; re-entering the Paris Accords, which would debilitate American industry, while favoring India and China, the two major polluters on the face of the earth; destroying our preeminence as an energy producer; continuing to fund the World Health Organization, which is in the pocket of China; promoting the fiction of climate change in spite of the fact that none of the perils predicted by Al Gore and his crooked cronies in the 1990s have come to pass.

Unlike old-time religions which got along with a single God, Liberalism recognizes many. To begin with, every Democrat who winds up in the White qualifies, although it would be difficult to find a less savory bunch than Carter, Clinton and Obama. Their gods also include the tawdry likes of Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, Jack Dorsey, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, Tom Steyer, Michael Bloomberg, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and George Soros.

They even have two Bibles: the New York Times and the Washington Post.

And like even the smallest and spookiest of the cults, the Democrats have their own Devil.

While the better known one is known by many titles (Ruler of Demons, Father of Lies, the Evil One, Old Serpent, Prince of Darkness) and by as many names (Satan, Lucifer, Beelzebub, Scratch, Mephistopheles), the Democrats refer to their devil as the Orange Man, fearing that even if they merely utter Donald Trump’s name aloud, he will, with a puff of sulphureous smoke, stinking of brimstone, suddenly appear in the Oval Office.

May their nightmare be America’s future.

You can email Burt directly at [email protected]

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