Burt Prelutsky / April 26, 2021

On Slavery & Socialism

Even Karl Marx’s loony brainstorm pales by comparison to Slavery.

As economic systems go, Slavery is probably the only one that is even dumber than Socialism. The reason the latter is so foolish is because it basically flies in the face of human nature by ignoring the fact it’s built into people to compete, whether it’s for money, mates or glory.

Parents may wish to work themselves to the bone to support their children, but nobody wants to work in order to support some lazy son of a gun who doesn’t feel like getting out of bed.

“From each according to his ability to each according to his need” might have sounded great to Karl Marx, who never went out of his way to support anyone in need, aside, that is, from Karl Marx.

But even his loony brainstorm pales by comparison to Slavery.

People seem to assume it was all beer and skittles for the plantation owners, who got to sit on the veranda sipping mint juleps with Scarlett O'Hara while the darkies serenaded them from the cotton fields.

That’s because people forget there was the initial purchase price for all those slaves. Then there was the upkeep — food, clothing, housing and medical expenses. Nobody is saying the lifestyle of the slaves was deluxe, but then neither was the daily life of those left behind to be pursued by lions and snakes. Which is not as much fun as you might think.

Plus, the plantation owner wasn’t only responsible for the welfare of the folks picking cotton, but for entire families, including infants and children, who out of sheer cussedness, refused to earn their keep.

Next, at least for Christians, there had to be moral qualms. For some, surely reading about the Jews escaping from Egypt must have resonated in a disturbing way.

Even by 1860, some of the slaveowners must have begun to realize that you got a better, more productive, workday out of men who are paid to do the job.

You did even better with sharecroppers who knew they’d benefit directly from the fruit of their labor.

Some economic truths seem so obvious and yet even Nobel Prize-winning economists don’t always seem to grasp them.

For instance, when Henry Ford paid his workers an amazing $5-a-day, it did several things.

First of all, it placed his work force in a position where they could afford to buy his cars. Next, it guaranteed he’d get the best workers. And three, it forced other factory owners to raise the salaries of their workers, providing Ford with additional millions of potential customers.

People who come away thinking that’s an argument for raising the minimum wage have the wrong end of the stick.

Ford was looking to attract the most skilled workers in the country. The minimum wage, on the other hand, artificially raises the salaries of the least skilled workers, which leads many employers to decide to let them go.

It also removes that all-important bottom rung where people often have to start in order to climb the ladder of success. How are high school kids going to learn the discipline of showing up for a job and doing a little more than is required and experience the pride of getting paid at the end of the week, if the employer decides that paying $15-an-hour cuts too deeply into his profit margin?

It’s easy for some politician to pat himself on the back by calling for a higher minimum wage because he’s not the one paying it and he’s not the one losing his job because of it.


I know the feds finally got Al Capone because he didn’t file his tax returns. I sure would like to know how and if the Bidens declare the bribes they’ve received from China, Ukraine and, apparently, Romania.


Speaking of bribes, could the fact that Joe Biden apparently enjoys a 59% approval rating have anything to do with those $1,400 checks he sent out to American suckers?


In a rather shocking outburst during a committee meeting at which Rep. Jim Jordan tried and failed to get Anthony Fauci to explain why people who had been vaccinated still had to wear masks and maintain social distancing, the chairwoman of the committee, Maxine Waters, decided to come to Fauci’s defense, shouting at Jordan “Respect the chair and shut up!”

I’m sure that Rep. Jordan respected the chair. It was with the ass seated on it that he had a problem.


Just a personal observation with which you’re free to disagree, but I keep hearing people like Dennis Prager and Tucker Carlson telling me how funny Adam Carolla is, and yet as many times as I’ve heard him sound off on various topics, I’ve never heard him say anything even slightly amusing.

The same is true of Stephen Corbett, but it’s only liberals who insist he’s funny.

So, is that now the acid test when it comes to judging comedians? If the guy shares our politics and identifies as a comedian on his tax return, he’s hilarious; and if he hates Trump, only those on the Left will find him amusing?

Forget about where Joe DiMaggio has gone. Where have the likes of Alan King, Jack Benny, Henny Youngman, Rodney Dangerfield, Sid Caesar, Bob Hope and Jackie Gleason, gone?


The Utah Jazz basketball team has initiated a scholarship fund for needy students. The scholarships are awarded after every game the Jazz wins. But it turns out that needy white kids are excluded from the program.

By now, knowing how woke the teams in the NBA are, we shouldn’t be too surprised that the Jazz would be that openly racist. The surprise is that Utah’s Republican governor, a putz named Spencer Cox, endorsed the program.

What’s with Utah, anyway?

They elect an idiot to be their governor and send two guys named Mike Lee and Mitt Romney to Washington. Lee is so indebted to the tech moguls for funding his campaigns, he will do anything to protect their interests, even when their interests involve muzzling Conservatives; while Romney, who spurned a career as a male model to enter politics, has decided that his mission in life isn’t to spread Mormonism but to oppose Donald Trump.


It recently occurred to me that although their grammar and syntax often leave a lot to be desired, the fact remains that urban blacks are actually speaking English.

It left me wondering if that makes them guilty of cultural appropriation.

After the mother of 19-year-old Brandon Hole told the local police that she feared her son would commit suicide by cop, the FBI came out to investigate in 2020 and decided he didn’t pose a threat to himself or others. Then, about a week ago, he entered his former workplace, a FedEx in Indianapolis, and murdered eight people.

Apparently, he died from a self-inflicted gunshot, having decided the cops were taking too long to get there.

It just goes to show that mothers know best and, as usual, the FBI proved once again that unless the job calls for framing Donald Trump or one of his allies, they don’t know shit.


Once again, Trump has been proven right. Last summer, the Democrats were attacking Trump because he didn’t call out Vladimir Putin for offering bribes to the Taliban if they killed American soldiers in Afghanistan.

The Democrats insisted that only a Putin puppet would let it slide. Trump naturally dismissed the story as a hoax, which it obviously was.

What I found so troubling about it at the time is, one, that even some Republicans took it seriously; and, two, that anyone could even imagine that Trump, who wears his love of the military on his sleeve, would stand by and let Putin put a bounty on the lives of American soldiers.

And, finally, the very idea that the Taliban would have to be encouraged to kill Americans is as preposterous as believing I have to be encouraged to suggest that Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton barely escaped serious injury the other day when their broomsticks collided.


You can email Burt directly at [email protected]

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