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Burt Prelutsky / Dec. 16, 2010

Rorschaching the Left

Back in 1921, Hermann Rorschach developed a set of cards to be used in analyzing possible personality disorders in psychological patients. Theoretically, at least, if a person “saw” certain images in the inkblots, he was considered normal. Otherwise, if, for instance, where most people spotted a butterfly, he saw Leon Trotsky getting bashed with an axe, he stood a good chance of being hatched with the other boobies.

Back in 1921, Hermann Rorschach developed a set of cards to be used in analyzing possible personality disorders in psychological patients. Theoretically, at least, if a person “saw” certain images in the inkblots, he was considered normal. Otherwise, if, for instance, where most people spotted a butterfly, he saw Leon Trotsky getting bashed with an axe, he stood a good chance of being hatched with the other boobies.

Speaking of boobies, I have often wondered if one liberal has ever said to another liberal: “I know what the playbook says our position is, but do you actually know why we’re opposed to law-abiding citizens owning guns?” or “Why are all the people on our side, like Joy Behar, Rosie O'Donnell, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Chris Matthews, Anthony Weiner, Bill Maher, Keith Olbermann and Jimmy Carter, so damn obnoxious?” or “What makes us think that George Bush is stupider than John Kerry, Al Gore and Joe Biden? Those guys seem really, really dumb to me.” or “Why are Republican First Ladies so much classier than ours?” or “Why are multi-millionaires like the Obamas, the Clintons, Dianne Feinstein, Jay Rockefeller, Charles Schumer, Barbara Boxer and Michael Bloomberg, always declaring war on the wealthy? And if they think the rich aren’t paying enough in taxes, why don’t they set a good example and pay more of their own? Instead, guys like Charley Rangel and Tim Geithner don’t believe in paying any.”

College students are known for experimenting with drugs, booze and sex. Wouldn’t it be nice, not to mention novel, if once in a while they experimented with thinking for themselves, instead of parroting the claptrap espoused by leftwing professors who are as besotted with the likes of Noam Chomsky, Saul Alinsky and Che Guevara, as teenage girls are with the Jonas brothers?

When you hear such dunderheads as Michael Moore, Bill Maher and Nora Ephron, get together to deride George Bush, Sarah Palin and Tea Party members, as knuckle-dragging Neanderthals, you realize that the liberal elite have brought the caste system over from India. Instead of the untouchables, they’ve decided that those on the lowest rung of society are those who disagree with them.

It’s fascinating how in spite of all the evidence to the contrary, leftists continue to regard themselves as the highest form of intelligent life. For instance, they persist in believing that even though private companies do a better job of delivering the mail, it makes perfect sense to continue subsidizing the postal service to the tune of billions of dollars a year.

Their faith in government goes far beyond the zealotry of religious converts. Like the rest of us, liberals will grumble about nobody ever answering the phone at the DMV; they will grouse about congressional ethics committees winking at corruption; they’ll gripe about a trillion dollars being blown on “shovel-ready” jobs; sometimes they’ll even acknowledge that it’s not right that those working for the government get more in salary, pension and medical benefits, than the folks in the private sector who have to support them with their taxes. But in spite of all that, liberals remain convinced that Big Brother knows best.

At least that’s what they believe so long as Big Brother has a (D) after his name. It never seems to occur to them that any freedom and liberty they surrender to the Democrats will eventually be in the hands of the Republicans. Apparently because they are as stupid as a bag of rocks, that fact never seems to occur to them.

The latest example of liberal insanity is the program they came up with to keep airliners safe. I have no way of knowing if Janet Napolitano dreamt it up after dining on ice cream and pickles, but it seems like the sort of spooky brainstorm that the Penguin, the Joker or Osama bin Laden, might have devised in one of their more diabolical moments.

Knowing full well that liberals would rather see an American city obliterated by a nuclear device – at least so long as it was a city in the Midwest or the South – than run the risk of embarrassing or annoying a Muslim, it was inevitable that they’d find a new way to embarrass and piss off the rest of us. As if it wasn’t bad enough that they made it national policy to confiscate shampoo bottles, tiny nail clippers and our “I Hate the TSA” buttons, the Obama administration decided to double down by giving airline passengers the dubious choice of being sexually assaulted or being zapped with radiation.

As a result of the new policy, fewer people are flying. But airport parking lots continue to be jam-packed. That’s because a great many people, very sad and lonely people, are showing up, insisting they be patted down by security personnel on the outside chance that they may have inadvertently stuck a bomb in their underpants.

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