February 9, 2023

State of the Union Highlights Reel

MOST SURREAL MOMENT: Getting Democrats to applaud “American.”

Despite MSNBC treating Biden’s State of the Union address like the royal wedding, you probably didn’t watch it. But it doesn’t matter because … I’ve got the highlights reel!

FUNNIEST DEMOCRATIC BASE SUCK-UP: “I met a young woman named Saria, who is here tonight. For 30 years … she’d been a proud member of Ironworkers Local 44 …”

Good for Saria, but 95% of ironworkers are men. Democrats, can’t you ever give it a rest?

[Note to fact-checkers: Did Neil Kinnock ever know a “Saria”?]

BIGGEST LIE: “[We are] the only nation in the world built on an idea.”

First of all, this hoariest of all cliches, autoloaded into every Democrat’s teleprompter, is patently false. Tons of other countries are based on ideas! Ukraine: We will be a nation of corrupt grifters who suck dry the treasuries of other countries. Canada: Accomplish nothing, be incredibly boring, and have a nincompoop as prime minister. Nigeria: We will send you emails every 15 minutes saying you can share in a $30 million inheritance.

In fact, our country is not a mere “idea.” If it were, we could just give it to other countries. We’ve been trying to do that, often forcibly, by invading and nation-building, forever. It hasn’t worked. They all still want to move here.

America is a nation of British Protestants, based on beautifully written governing documents, from John Winthrop’s 1630 sermons to the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution. Demographically, it remained about 80% to 90% white, 10% to 20% black and overwhelmingly Protestant for several centuries.

Thus, in 1776, King George referred to the American Revolution as “a Presbyterian war,” and, in 1900, Mark Twain said of the British and Americans, “We have always been kin: kin in blood, kin in religion, kin in representative government, kin in ideals, kin in just and lofty purposes.”

(Maybe after 18 semesters studying Emmett Till and redlining, schoolchildren could be taught this.)

The “America is an idea” scam is meant to convince us that our country is nothing special and we have no right to prevent anyone else from moving here. BEST HECKLE: “It’s your fault!” — when Biden talked about fentanyl “killing more than 70,000 Americans a year,” adding, “let’s launch a major surge to stop fentanyl … at the border.”

MOST SURREAL MOMENT: Getting Democrats to applaud “American.”

“And when we do these [government] projects … we’re going to buy American.” [WILD APPLAUSE]

(OK, maybe they were cheering for yet more government pork.)

LEAST BELIEVABLE CLAIM (This was a very competitive category!): Pointing out Tyre Nichols’ parents in the audience, Biden said he’d never “had to have ‘the talk’ that brown and black parents have had to have with their children.” And why would you, with a son like Hunter?

You’ve probably heard me say this before, but I don’t think “the talk” is taking. My evidence is this: Every famous case of a black person being killed after an interaction with police has NOT involved hyper-politeness on the part of the arrestee.


— Michael Brown (tried to grab officer’s gun, refused to stop, then turned and charged at him);

— Breonna Taylor (boyfriend was shooting at cops);

— Daunte Wright (refused to be handcuffed, despite a warrant for his arrest, attempted to drive off with an officer dangling from his car window).

MOST REFRESHING MOMENT: “Let’s also pass the bipartisan Equality Act to ensure LGBTQ Americans, especially transgender young people, can live with safety and dignity.”

Finally, an American president courageous enough to support poisoning and mutilating confused adolescent girls.

WORST ADVERTISEMENT FOR BIG PHARMA: Maybe ease up on the Adderall, Mr. President. Biden was like the Energizer bunny on crack, one moment curing cancer and the next talking about airline luggage fees.

MOST ADORABLE ATTEMPT TO BLAME LIBERAL INSANITY ON JAN. 6: Plagiarizing this part of his speech from MSNBC, Biden claimed that a druggie’s hammer attack on Paul Pelosi was inspired by Jan. 6.

“Just a few months ago, unhinged by [Trump’s] ‘big lie,’ an assailant unleashed political violence in the home of the then-speaker of the House of Representatives, using the very same language the insurrectionists used as they stalked these halls and chanted on Jan. 6th.

"Here tonight in this chamber is the man who bears the scars of that brutal attack, but is as tough and as strong and resilient as they get.

"My friend, Paul Pelosi.”

San Francisco, the city that sells tourists a human feces walking map, has decriminalized crime, and hands out syringes, tinfoil and pipes to drug users. In this 100% Democrat-controlled, liberal utopia, Pelosi’s attacker, David DePape, was the prototype of the Bay Area good citizen.

The mentally ill nudist advocate with a history of drug use lived in a bus with a Black Lives Matter sign and a flag with pot-leaf symbols and the LGBTQ rainbow. Crazy people, like DePape, babble enough nonsense that partisans can claim he’s anything — BLM, QAnon, a Trump supporter, a standard-issue Democrat or Napoleon Bonaparte.

But it’s California liberals who allowed this nut-bag to walk the streets.

MOST ANNOYING CLICHE: “My fellow Americans, we meet tonight at an inflection point.” At least he deftly avoided, “Asking for a friend.”


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