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August 30, 2023

In Brief: Oh, the Humor of David Weiss

Satire — or is it? Merrick Garland appoints federal prosecutor David Weiss to oversee David Weiss.

The appointment of David Weiss as special prosecutor to investigate Hunter Biden is a farce. So commentator Andrew Klavan decided to treat it with all the seriousness it deserves — which is to say none at all.

The Department of Justice has appointed Federal Prosecutor David Weiss as Special Counsel so he can oversee the botched Hunter Biden investigation run by Federal Prosecutor David Weiss. David Weiss’s meandering years-long investigation allowed the statute of limitations to run out on major charges against Hunter before resulting in a sweetheart plea deal that immediately imploded on cursory examination in court and now David Weiss has been assigned to oversee David Weiss to make sure David Weiss didn’t get up to some kind of funny business. Because Federal Prosecutor David Weiss is a federal employee answerable to Hunter’s father Joe Biden, DOJ regulations require the special counsel overseeing Federal Prosecutor David Weiss should be someone outside the federal government, like Federal Prosecutor David Weiss.

Attorney General Merrick “Joey Bananas” Garland says he appointed David Weiss to oversee David Weiss in hopes of restoring the public’s diminishing trust in the integrity of the DOJ through a blatantly cynical cover-up that will spit a phlegm-gob of unbridled power and corruption in the public’s eye thereby blinding them to the blatant cynicism, unbridled power and corruption that have diminished public trust in the DOJ.

Klavan imagines a humorous interrogation reminiscent of “Psycho” before moving on.

Addressing the Hunter Biden investigation, President and Venal Houseplant Joe Biden said there was not a single shred of evidence that he himself had participated in his son’s influence peddling schemes aside from his repeated calls on speaker phone during the course of Hunter’s meetings, lunches and dinners with shady foreign nationals, the fact that Hunter paid his father’s bills out of his ill-gotten gains and then gave him 10% of the take, and of course repeated emails to Biden accounts with suspicious fake names like Doddering Corrupto at Gmail.com and Surly McVenal at AOL.com.

After a brief detour to Hawaii, in which Klavan satirizes Biden’s already obnoxious remarks, he concludes:

The absolutely fair-minded news media welcomed word that the totally honest Special Counsel David Weiss would be overseeing the also totally honest Federal Prosecutor David Weiss during his completely unbiased investigation of the thoroughly innocent President Biden’s totally unsuspicious dealings with an influence peddling crack cocaine addict who was selling Joe’s name for millions of dollars and sending him 10% of the take.

Daily Wire subscribers can read the whole thing here.

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