The pinheads who run our institutions of higher education want us to believe that racism is everywhere. In fact, The College Fix reports, 2023 apparently saw 72 items that academics are calling “racist.”

Of course, “racism” has become a catch-all phrase for Democrats that typically just means something they don’t like. For academics, there’s an ideological undergirding — a.k.a. Racial Marxism — that’s based on critical race theory and manifests under the diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) banner. Under this cornucopia of bad ideas, there is a victimhood hierarchy that ranks people based on race, sex, and sexual orientation. The more “oppressed” boxes one can check off, the less racist one can be.

If you are gay, black, and a woman, you are the least racist person around because you are historically the most oppressed. But if you are straight, white, and a man, you are the greatest of oppressors and a racist by default. In fact, being white at all just means you’re racist. This sort of thinking is trash, but academics push it because it is advantageous to do so.

If you want a perfect example, look no further than former Harvard President Claudine Gay, a pusher of DEI initiatives who believes that anti-Semitism is bad only if threats turn into actions. Despite her refusal to stand against anti-Jew racism, her school would have let her stay as president. But as donors began to pull their financial support, and as Gay’s extensive record of plagiarism in her academic papers came to light, she finally was forced to step down as president. She still works at the school, however, and will continue to make $900,000 per year as a professor. She blames racism for the fact that she had to step down at all. Yet poor, oppressed Claudine Gay continually fails upward because Americans ostensibly are so racist.

Going back to the list of 72 things that academics called racist last year, here are a few of the most ludicrous ones:

The Body Mass Index is considered racist because black people tend to score a higher BMI than whites or Asians. Last year, the Associated Press compiled articles describing the larger issues of health disparities based on race. But much of what the AP tried to explain as “inequity” and “racism” are really cycles of poverty, genetic predispositions, or poor personal responsibility. The issues of poverty and personal responsibility are particularly malleable to the new definition of “racism.”

Then there are petty items like the new film “Wonka” that is supposedly racist. That’s because the titular character Willie Wonka is the focus of the story, not the other black female lead.

If you keep reading the list, you might be astounded to see that fast food, clowns, classical music, Shakespeare, and even the Apostle Paul make the list of “racist” things or people. It’s beyond parody.

Racism, under the machinations of the woke, has lost its true meaning and is a token for perpetual victims to use as an extortion tactic. Real racism — acts of exclusion, job discrimination, verbal abuse, and violence based on race or skin color — is a relatively rare thing in this era. It’s also illegal. Yet it doesn’t count anymore if the racism is against whites, Asians, or Jews.