The BIG Lies

“January 6th [is] a day forever shared in our memory because it was on that day that we nearly lost America — lost it all. … Over 140 police officers were injured. Jill and I attended the funeral of police officers who died as a result of the events of that day.” —President Joe Biden

“Whether democracy is still America’s sacred cause is the most urgent question of our time, and it’s what the 2024 election is all about.” —Joe Biden

“For me and Kamala, our campaign is about America. It’s about you. … Our campaign is about preserving and strengthening our American democracy.” —Joe Biden

“Political violence is never, ever acceptable in the United States political system — never, never, never. It has no place in a democracy. None.” —Joe Biden (“Unless, of course, the political violence comes from the Left — as it did with the Black Lives Matter riots, as it does with antifa’s mayhem, and as it did on the day of Donald Trump’s inauguration on January 20, 2017.” —Douglas Andrews)

“We will defend the truth, not give in to the Big Lie. We’ll embrace the Constitution and the Declaration, not abandon it. We’ll honor the sacred cause of democracy, not walk away from it.” —Joe Biden

“I’ll keep my commitment to be president for all of America, whether you voted for me or not. I’ve done it for the last three years, and I’ll continue to do it.” —Joe Biden

“We fight to protect the sacred freedom to vote while [Republicans] try to silence the voice of the people.” —Vice President Kamala Harris

Dumb & Dumber

“I support every state taking very aggressive action to keep [Trump] off the ballot.” —Washington, DC Mayor Muriel Bowser

“Justice [Clarence] Thomas needs to recuse himself because he’s obviously biased by virtue of his wife’s participation in the insurrectionary politics of January 6th and the weeks leading up to it.” —Congressman Jamie Raskin (D-MD)

“Justice Thomas has a … spouse who had a role in trying to overturn the election. There is unquestionably a conflict here and an appearance of impropriety.” —Congressman Adam Schiff (D-CA)

Stranger Than Fiction

“With regard to [Defense] Secretary [Lloyd] Austin, I wasn’t aware of his medical issue.” —Secretary of State Antony Blinken

Village Idiot

“Individuals … have been incarcerated because of failed policies.” —Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson

“[Texas Governor Greg Abbott] is attacking democratically ran cities, in particular cities that are being led by black leaders or leaders of color. … It is evil-spirited.” —Brandon Johnson

Baghdad Bob

“The president, when he walked into this administration, he put forth a comprehensive border/immigration legislation to deal with this issue. And if Republicans, especially in the House, had taken that seriously, we would not be where we are today.” —White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre

A Broken Clock Is Right Twice a Day

“There’s a crisis at the border and I don’t know how anybody could pretend that there isn’t.” —Senator John Fetterman (D-PA)

And Last…

“The maddening thing about it is that the White House is allowing all this. These are policy choices that created this chaos. And it is thus policy choices that could change it.” —House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) regarding illegal immigration