Theater of the Absurd

“[Trump] said there has to be punishment for women exercising their reproductive freedom. … He described the Dobbs decision as a miracle. Maybe it’s coming from that Bible he’s trying to sell. Woah. I almost wanted to buy one just to see what the hell is in it.” —Joe Biden

The BIG Lies

“I got involved when I was a kid in electoral politics out of the Civil Rights movement.” —Joe Biden

“I used to drive an 18-wheeler.” —Joe Biden

Don’t Believe Your Lying Eyes

“We’re following my blue-collar blueprint to rebuild America. And guess what? It’s working.” —Joe Biden

Non Compos Mentis

“Four more years. Pause.” —Joe “Teleprompter” Biden

Belly Laughs of the Day

“I think Florida is in play nationally.” —Joe Biden

“The job is hard. And it’s hard not just for me but for all of my colleagues.” —White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre (Just like Jen “Circle Back” Psaki, Karine “I Just Don’t Have Anything” Jean-Pierre, who parrots talking points to a friendly press, couldn’t have an easier job. What actually is hard is articulating and successfully defending sound policy to a media that lobs nothing but grenades if you aren’t a Democrat.)

World’s Smallest Violin

“This is 100% targeted. Every single protest that we have, there’s a group of counterprotestors that bring all of their items — their flags, things like that — and they’re not seen as having unsanctioned protest or really receive the kind of disciplinary warnings that many of our fellow organizers received just for being seen at these protests. And so there is definitely some hypocrisy here.” —Isra Hirsi, daughter of Congresswoman Ilhan Omar (D-MN)

For the Record

“Columbia President Minouche Shafik canceled in-person classes Monday. [Tuesday], she announced that classes to indoctrinate students will be hybrid only for the rest of the semester. So, unable to protect Jewish students and staff on Columbia’s campus, her solution is to shut it down and force all students back into Zoom indoctrination classes. In other words, she surrendered to the mob. President Shafik has been morally tested, and she has failed.” —Gary Bauer

“The Ivy League has truly lost its mind. … If I had a kid at Columbia, I’d be livid. It’s simply mind-boggling that the president of this university would rather consign her students to another crucible of remote learning, than permanently expel the protesters. I mean, seriously, what does it take to get expelled from Columbia? … That’s what you get for $68,000 a year at Columbia — an administration who cowers in the face of thugs and bullies, and a university president who would rather make your kids try to learn off campus, than take a truly hard line with those students calling for the murder of Jews.” —television host Mike Rowe

Upright

“DEI is garbage. It’s fascist totalitarianism.” —playwright David Mamet

“The [film industry] has little business improving everybody’s racial understanding.” —David Mamet

Re: Homelessness

“Homelessness has gotten out of hand because of misplaced compassion, which avoids the deeper issue of personal responsibility and instead faults society writ large. Unless people are held accountable, the problem will grow out of control, as it has in Democrat-controlled cities like Los Angeles and San Francisco.” —Thomas Gallatin

“Homeless people deserve compassion, but allowing them to freeze to death or succumb to disease isn’t compassionate.” —Betsy McCaughey

And Last…

“Our tendency in our country is to emphasize individual rights when we think about freedom. But the equal and opposite side of rights is responsibilities. Without responsibility, whether as individuals or as a nation, freedom is gone. … The force of evil cannot be ignored and the price of believing that it can be ignored only grows and becomes increasingly more dangerous.” —Star Parker