“Tone Down the Rhetoric”

“The only garbage I see floating out there is [Trump] supporters.” —Joe “Unity” Biden

Cleanup on Aisle 46

“Earlier today I referred to the hateful rhetoric about Puerto Rico spewed by Trump’s supporter at his Madison Square Garden rally as garbage — which is the only word I can think of to describe it. His demonization of Latinos is unconscionable. That’s all I meant to say.” —Joe Biden

For the Record

“Puerto Rico isn’t garbage, it’s home to fellow American citizens who have made tremendous contributions to our country. I understand why some people were offended by a comedians jokes last night. But those weren’t Trump’s words. They were jokes by an insult comic who offends virtually everyone, all the time….. because that is what insult comedians do.” —Senator Marco Rubio

The BIG Lies

“Calling America a garbage can … those are the words [Trump] has used.” —Kamala Harris

“[Trump] talks about military service members as being uncourageous; as being cowards, suckers, and losers.” —Kamala Harris

“I was just in Georgia. You know they passed a law that makes it illegal to give people food and water for standing in line to vote?” —Kamala Harris

Lack of Self-Awareness Awards

“The First Amendment. The Second Amendment. … [Trump] wants to terminate the Constitution of the United States.” —Kamala Harris

“There is an overwhelming call for a fresh start. People from all walks of life. And they are calling for a new generation of leadership.” —current Vice President Kamala Harris

“Small businesses can’t afford to hire a bunch of accountants and a bunch of lawyers.” —Kamala Harris, who voted for nearly 90,000 new IRS agents

Word Salads

“What I’m talking about doing right now is based on longstanding work. It’s not new, but as president of the United States, part of why it is important is it is a new approach to that job.” —Kamala Harris

“We also have the honor and the duty of excelling in every way possible being able to see what is possible and not be burdened by other peoples’ limited ability to see the same.” —Kamala Harris

Belly Laugh of the Day

“I’d put my record up to anybody in terms of how strongly I feel about having a secure border.” —Kamala Harris

Non Compos Mentis

“[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez] can run a mean pick 6.” —Tim “Football Coach” Walz

“The American people know who you are. They know who I am. And I think they know I’m not a serial liar.” —serial liar Tim Walz

Re: The Left

“It’s often said that in this country, anyone can become president. If that means ‘anyone’ regardless of character, competence, or fitness, then that statement doesn’t stand as a tribute to the boundless opportunities America offers. It’s an indictment of a corrupt political party and a sad commentary on the profound ignorance, willful or otherwise, of those who support that party.” —Peter Lemiska

And Last…

“My mother, her brother, and her parents fled the Nazis in August of 1939. … We had to flee the Nazis. And for Donald Trump to now be called Hitler, to be called a fascist, to be compared to a Nazi is the lowest of the lows by Kamala Harris. … They don’t like losing so they call him a Nazi. … Nobody but nobody in American politics should compare anybody to the Nazis.” —former White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer

“I’m not a Nazi. I’m the opposite of a Nazi.” —Donald Trump