Dumb & Dumber

“Laken Riley’s killer never stood a chance.” —MSNBC headline

“Today, I had the honor of awarding Cecile Richards the Presidential Medal of Freedom. With absolute courage, she fearlessly leads us forward to be the America we say we are — a nation of freedom. Through her work to lift up the dignity of workers, defend and advance women’s reproductive rights and equality, and mobilize Americans to exercise their power to vote, she has carved an inspiring legacy.” —Joe Biden (“Cecile Richards presided over the abortions of 3.9 million babies as president of Planned Parenthood. She belongs in jail. Not in the White House receiving the Presidential Medal of Freedom.” —Lila Rose)

“People have a right to express themselves, to dress how they want and to be who they are. And if a woman doesn’t look woman enough to a Republican, they want to be able to inspect her genitals to be able to use the bathroom? It’s disgusting.” —Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

“There will be people, American citizens, who will prevent these little kids from being dragged out of these [immigration] shelters. … What is going to happen to the military when the military opens fire on us?” —Democrat strategist Julie Roginsky

“I think we all know that precedent by a court doesn’t matter anymore in this country, and people violate laws anytime they want. So for me, if I violate this [vote counting] law, it’s because I want a court to pay attention to it.” —Bucks County, Pennsylvania, Board of Commissioners chair Diane M. Ellis-Marseglia

Who Knew?

“I don’t care who you voted for. … I care about Trump supporters. I care about RFK Jr. supporters. I care about Tucker Carlson supporters. I care about Charlie Kirk supporters. I care about Ben Shapiro supporters. I care about all people.” —California Governor Gavin Newsom

For the Record

“A lot of people ask me why I get so emotional when I do Fox News, why I scream at members of Congress — because I’ve seen so much tragedy. I’ve talked to hundreds of moms and dads who buried their children because they were killed by illegal aliens.” —border czar designate Tom Homan

“The Matt Gaetz episode proves the genius of our Founding Fathers and the strength of the Constitution. Presidents make nominations and the Senate has a constitutional right to advise and consent. Checks and balances often include back room channels. That’s what happened here. Senators made it clear Gaetz would not be confirmed. Trump chose not to die on Matt Gaetz’s hill. Take heart. Our system works and the Constitution is strong.” —former White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer

And Last…

“The White House famously told us for four years that the economy was great; that it was just a messaging problem. Which is like me saying to you, ‘I’m not fat; this scale just has a messaging problem.’” —Jimmy Failla

“This is the problem with Democrats: You can be weird, or you can be pretentious, but you can’t be both. And Democrats are weird and pretentious.” —Andrew Schulz

“Planned Parenthood is really End Parenthood.” —Lila Rose