The Gipper: “I know it’s hard when you’re up to your armpits in alligators to remember you came here to drain the swamp.”

It takes a Village Idiot: “It matters to me that my mom also recognizes the role the Supreme Court has when it comes to gun control. With Justice Scalia on the bench one of the few areas where the Court actually had an inconsistent record relates to gun control. … [M]y mom is the only person running for president who … has a strong record on gun control and standing up to the NRA.” —Chelsea Clinton

Like #BringBackOurGirls? “You can hashtag all over Instagram and Twitter, but those social medial movements will disappear faster than a Snapchat if you’re not also registered to vote.” —Michelle Obama

Non Compos Mentis: “[Adding 200,000 ex-felons to the Democrat voting bloc] was the right thing to do legally, and most importantly … it wasn’t politics. It was the right thing to do morally. And I know these Republican legislators think it’s politics.” —Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe

Braying Jenny: “[Gov. Bruce] Rauner is the new ISIS recruit. Yes, I said it, and I’ll say it again. Bruce Rauner is a liar. And, you know, I’ve been reading in the news lately all about these ISIS recruits popping up all over the place — has Homeland Security checked this man out yet? Because the things he’s doing look like acts of terror on poor and working-class people.” —Chicago Teachers Union president Karen Lewis

And last… “You might be a liberal if college adults need a safe space, but North Carolina children in a bathroom don’t.” —Twitter satirist @hale_razor