Some team player: “I don’t think it’s imperative that the entire party come together. I don’t want everybody. I don’t even want certain people that were extraordinarily nasty. Let them go their own way. Let them wait eight years or let them wait 16 years or whatever.” —Donald Trump

Non Compos Mentis: “[Rafael Cruz] was with Lee Harvey Oswald [when he shot JFK]. I mean, the whole thing is ridiculous. What is this, right prior to his being shot, and nobody brings it up.” —Donald Trump

“On the same day that [Trump] wins the GOP Indiana primary and secures the party’s nomination, he decides to use an National Enquirer story … to accuse opponent Ted Cruz’s father of helping Lee Harvey Oswald [assassinate JFK]. This was just an amuse-bouche of the utter stupidity that down-ballot GOP candidates will have to deal with, justify, rationalize, ignore, excuse, or support every day for the next six months or so.” —David Harsanyi

Trump’s only appeal: “We cannot let Barack Obama’s legacy fall into Donald Trump’s hands. We can’t let all the hard work and progress we have achieved over the last seven and a half years be torn away. We have to move forward together.” —Hillary Clinton

Woman card: “What [Donald Trump] was saying and going after my qualifications is very familiar to a lot of women.” —Hillary Clinton

Late-night humor: “The White House announced yesterday that Malia Obama will attend Harvard University, but that she plans to take a year off before starting. Malia got the idea after seeing how much fun her dad is having with his year off.” —Jimmy Fallon