The Gipper: “The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’”

The BIG Lie: “I want to remind everyone about fundamental principles at ESPN. ESPN is about sports. … ESPN is not a political organization.” —Entertainment Sports Political Network president John Skipper

Non Compos Mentis: “President Trump is killing me. No, really. He’s killing me. I went for my annual physical last month, and, for the first time in my 49 years, I had to report that I’ve not been feeling well: fatigue, headaches, poor sleep, even some occasional chest pain. My doctor checked my blood pressure, which had always been normal before: alarmingly high! … I arrived at a self-diagnosis: I was suffering from Trump Hypertensive Unexplained Disorder, or THUD.” —Washington Post’s Dana Milbank

Oh come on: “What this kid [mowing the White House lawn] wants to do is noble, but sorry, I’m mindful of problems — I’ve written lots about child labor & kids being hurt by machinery.” —New York Times’ Steven Greenhouse

A vast right-wing conspiracy: “I don’t want to say the right, but somebody came up with as a catch phrase so that you could say there’s violence on the other side. … Oftentimes I found that sometimes the side that is kvetching the loudest has sort of orchestrated this so they can b—h about it.” —Whoopi Goldberg downplaying antifa

A taxpayer war on children: “[American women] have been denied health care too long because of restrictions like the Hyde Amendment. Consider the Hyde Amendment history if we pass Medicare for All. And all those other restrictions on reproductive rights.” —Sen. Richard Blumenthal

Late-night humor: “Hillary Clinton is promoting her new book. She told Anderson Cooper that a lot of people come up to her now to apologize for not voting. And when they do that, she says she doesn’t forgive them. I guess she used all her forgiveness up on her husband.” —Jimmy Kimmel