The Gipper: “I’ve learned in Washington that [it’s] the only place where sound travels faster than light.”

Belly laugh of the week: “If you have to win a campaign by dividing people, you’re not going to be able to govern them. You won’t be able to unite them later.” —Divider in Chief Barack Obama

Alpha Jackass: “At least the Taliban were honest enough to say, ‘I’m the guy who’s gonna cut your throat.’ Here, it could be the guy I pass in the corridor who’s going to sign the paper that sends me away for life. We may as well go back to kangaroo courts and lynch mobs.” —confessed deserter Bowe Bergdahl on the U.S. Army

Stopped clock, part I: “I think [NFLers] ought to find a different way to object, to demonstrate. I would rather see all the players stand during the American anthem.” —Jimmy Carter

Stopped clock, part II: “I think the media have been harder on Trump than any other president certainly that I’ve known about. I think they feel free to claim that Trump is mentally deranged and everything else without hesitation.” —Jimmy Carter

Braying Jenny: “The White House itself is full of white supremacists.” —Rep. Frederica Wilson

Braying Jackass: “We have the most dangerous president in American history and one of the most reactionary Congresses in American history.” —DNC chairman Tom Perez

Well then… “I would tell people, absolutely. After my Donald Trump tweets I deserved that suspension. I deserved it. Like, absolutely I violated the policy, I deserved that suspension. … The only thing I ever apologize for, I put ESPN in a bad spot; I’ll never take back what I said.” —Jemele Hill

And last… “A lot of people, they ask me, you know, a guy from Wisconsin, what’s it like to work with an abrasive New Yorker with a loud mouth? But you know, once you get to know him, Chuck Schumer’s not all that bad.” —Paul Ryan