Masculinity is defined as qualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of men. These qualities include but are not limited to virility, strength, vigor, ruggedness, or toughness. Placing the word “toxic” in front of masculinity doesn’t create the solution to all things wrong with boys and men; it just misdiagnoses the problem.

As a young boy, my masculinity was challenged to the core by my dad, uncle, and men in the church. As an Eagle Scout, I was placed into positions where strength and toughness had to be utilized. However, before becoming an Eagle Scout, there was an honor society in scouting for which only my peers could recommend me. For this ordeal, I was faced with daunting tasks that would require my masculinity to kick into overdrive as a 13-year-old. One of the challenges brought out the best in me. With nothing but a tarp and the clothes on my back, I was tasked with sleeping in the woods facing the elements. What would push me to do something like this? What did I stand to gain? Why was this important to me? I knew what I would be facing when my Scoutmaster dropped me off that evening. I knew how tough this weekend would be. I knew there was a fear factor involved, but what did I do? I faced my fears with bridled masculinity. Toxic masculinity would have resulted in me crying my eyes out or calling my Scoutmaster to come and pick me up.

If you want to discuss toxicity and boys, then the only way to do this is to dissect the father figure. Toxic boys have toxic dads or dads who left them with toxic moms. A person can be toxic, not an entire gender. Toxic masculinity is fatherless masculinity. Period. Remove the fathering factor from any aspect of boyhood or masculinity and there you have it: toxicity. Without engaged fathers teaching their sons about their strength, energy, and soon-to-come sex drive, you have just created MENaces to society, not Men. So goes the man, so goes the home. So goes the home, so goes the community. So goes the community, so goes — well you get the picture by now.

Leftists and feminists seeking to undermine boys, men, and testosterone are throwing around the catchphrase “toxic masculinity.” In a society where there are new genders being created like new crayon colors, there’s no wonder why our youth are so confused. But masculinity is never bad, wrong, or evil. Unbridled masculinity created by absent, alcoholic, apathetic, or even agnostic dads is. I mention agnostic because any earthly father that will not point his son to our Heavenly Father is creating a boy who will learn to lean on himself for all the answers of life. What a tragedy. But I digress…

Toxic masculinity is not super-sized masculinity; it is undersized. American boys need dads who will help them build confidence by empowering their masculine traits, not quell them with low risks and insignificant rewards. Boys need to be amped up to seek high risks and high rewards! My two sons need me to be the best version of a godly father who loves them, coaches them, and models bridled masculinity. When asked about their masculinity, I want them to have the notion, “Super-size me”!