For the Record

“I live under Gavin Newsom’s thumb. … He’s a carpetbagger. He’s full of crap. He doesn’t believe anything he’s saying. He doesn’t believe COVID’s dangerous or he wouldn’t be out with 31 of his closest friends drinking $40K worth of wine, and he wouldn’t be standing around SoFi stadium with no mask on if he believed it.” —comedian Adam Carolla

Friendly Fire

“I don’t understand why we aren’t having a ban on [oil] exports. I do think we have to be doing more. People in my district — they’re talking to me about gas prices. They’re talking to me about higher food prices. They’re talking to me about the airlines getting canceled. … Those are the issues front and center.” —Democrat Congressman Ro Khanna

The BIG Lies

“Just about everybody in this country is frustrated with the extraordinarily high price of gas, except for oil executives, who’ve made it clear they’re not going to invest in production when they’re as profitable as they are.” —Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg

“Our private sector has now recovered all of the jobs lost during the pandemic, and added jobs on top of that.” —President Joe Biden (“NO IT HASN’T. The new number of total jobs filled is now 151.98 million. That puts the US a little over a half-million jobs shy of the Feb 2020 figure of 152.504 million jobs filled. And that doesn’t take population growth into account.” —Ed Morrissey)

“Republicans are doing nothing but obstructing our efforts to crack down on gas-price gouging, lower food prices, lower healthcare costs, and hopefully, soon, lower your prescription drug costs. This is not right. And that’s why this election is going to be so darn important.” —Joe Biden

“My economic plan is moving this country in a better direction.” —Joe Biden

“I never stopped admiring John [McCain]. Never said a negative thing about him in my life because I knew his honor, his courage, and his commitment.” —Joe Biden (“On becoming the Democratic vice presidential nominee in August, Joe Biden called Republican White House rival John McCain ‘my friend.’ Now Biden denounces McCain as ‘an angry man’ whom he accuses of trying to take ‘the low road to the highest office in the land’ with a campaign of fear and personal attacks.” —Reuters, October 13, 2008)

Theater of the Absurd

“[Dobbs] was not a decision driven by the Constitution. … What we’re witnessing wasn’t a constitutional judgment. It was an exercise in raw political power.” —Joe Biden

“We cannot allow an out-of-control Supreme Court, working in conjunction with extremist elements of the Republican Party, to take away freedoms and our personal autonomy.” —Joe Biden

“A patient comes into the emergency room in any state in the union. She’s expressing and experiencing a life-threatening miscarriage, but the doctor is going to be so concerned about being criminalized for treating her, they delay treatment to call the hospital lawyer who is concerned the hospital will be penalized if a doctor provides the lifesaving care. It’s outrageous.” —Joe Biden

“We need two additional pro-choice senators and a pro-choice House to codify Roe as federal law. Your vote can make that a reality. … I don’t think the Court — or for that matter the Republicans who for decades have pushed their extreme agenda — have a clue about the power of American women. But they’re about to find out.” —Joe Biden

Non Sequitur Award

“You may say that I’m being crazy, but if in this case if a state decides the woman who is having a baby is not as important as the potential of that life, what they’re really saying is, to save a life, autonomy means nothing. So, let’s play that out. We have an organ shortage in this country. Organ donation saves lives. Under [Dobbs], how could they not go to a person and say, ‘Give me one of your kidneys because it’s going to save this person’s life’? It would be consistent.” —former “Daily Show” host Jon Stewart (“I guess Jon Stewart missed it, but Planned Parenthood is the organization selling body parts, not the local crisis pregnancy center.” —Not the Bee)

Veep Thoughts With Kamala

“I think that, to be very honest with you, I do believe that we should have rightly believed, but we certainly believe that certain issues are just settled.” —Vice President Kamala Harris

And Last…

“Billion dollar corporations offering to pay for their employees’ abortions so that they can get right back to their cubicles and not miss any time on maternity leave is honestly the most dystopian thing I’ve ever seen. Really chilling stuff.” —Matt Walsh