So, now we’re supposed to believe that Donald Trump was squirreling away our nation’s nuclear weapons secrets, no doubt to shop them to the highest international bidder?

Yep, the same folks who brought us the Russia Collusion™ hoax and the infamously fake Steele dossier now want us to believe that they raided Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago home and went sniffing around in Melania’s closet because her husband was just about to sell us out to the Russians. As The Bezos Washington Post reports:

Classified documents relating to nuclear weapons were among the items FBI agents sought in a search of former president Donald Trump’s Florida residence on Monday, according to people familiar with the investigation.

Experts in classified information said the unusual search underscores deep concern among government officials about the types of information they thought could be located at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Club and potentially in danger of falling into the wrong hands.

The people who described some of the material that agents were seeking spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss an ongoing investigation. They did not offer additional details about what type of information the agents were seeking, including whether it involved weapons belonging to the United States or some other nation. Nor did they say if such documents were recovered as part of the search.

Uh-huh. That’s the latest, anyway. And it’d be a pretty nifty caper, smuggling ICBMs for Dummies and The Complete Idiots Guide to Minuteman III out of the White House, given that Trump didn’t even pack the boxes that the FBI confiscated on Monday.

“Nuclear weapons issue is a Hoax,” said Trump, “just like Russia, Russia, Russia was a Hoax, two Impeachments were a Hoax, the Mueller investigation was a Hoax, and much more. Same sleazy people involved. Why wouldn’t the FBI allow the inspection of areas at Mar-a-Lago with our lawyers, or others, present? Made them wait outside in the heat, wouldn’t let them get even close — said ‘ABSOLUTELY NOT.’ Planting information anyone? Reminds me of a Christopher Steele Dossier!”

And yet there was Attorney General Merrick Garland yesterday, finally breaking his silence on Monday’s Mar-a-Lago raid. “Faithful adherence to the rule of law is the bedrock principle of the Justice Department and of our democracy,” he said in a prepared statement.

Things only got more ridiculous from there: “Upholding the rule of law means applying the law evenly, without fear or favor,” he said without a whiff of self-awareness. “Under my watch that is precisely what the Justice Department is doing. All Americans are entitled to the evenhanded application of the law, to due process of the law, and to the presumption of innocence.”

And yet, there was no “there” there. In terms of substance, Garland’s remarks were pure Oakland. As veteran journalist John Solomon noted, “Stoic like a judge delivering a verdict from the bench … Garland declared Thursday he was playing things by the book and wouldn’t talk about the raid and ongoing investigation of former President Donald Trump.”

Nope, those leftist feds never talk about ongoing investigations. Never. Except when it suits their political ends — like when he’s lecturing us about the January 6 Capitol riot. You remember the riot — the one that lasted four hours but whose one-sided dog and pony show trial of an investigation has lasted for 20 freakin’ months and counting.

And to think this hack came within a whisker of a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court.

To his credit, we suppose, the AG did own up to ordering the FBI raid. But he ought not pat himself on the back just yet. “It’s nice to hear Mr. Garland say he personally signed off on the search,” opined the scribes at the Wall Street Journal’s editorial page. “But it’s a little much to hear him lecture the country that it’s beyond the pale to criticize the FBI. After the Russia collusion fraud, the Steele dossier con, the misleading FISA requests for the Carter Page warrants, and the Robert Mueller whitewash of all of that, there are plenty of reasons for Americans to take a don’t-trust-but-verify attitude to the bureau. This isn’t disdain for the rule of law. It’s well-earned skepticism.”

As for what’s next, Power Line’s John Hinderaker believes we’ll know more within a few days, when the search warrant filings are unsealed, but he likewise thinks that those documents will still leave a lot of questions unanswered.

And he also notes this: “The Democrats crossed the Rubicon when they raided Donald Trump’s home. Never before in American history has anything like this happened. I think the consensus of the commentariat is correct: the Democrats had better have something really good up their sleeve, or the blowback will be intense.”

And rightly so.