One day, we in our humble shop won’t have John Kerry to kick around anymore. But until that day arrives, we’re fortunate to have him as our personal pigskin.

Did you know, by the way, that he served in Vietnam? That he, ahem, earned as many Purple Hearts as Audie Murphy? That he once spent Christmas in Cambodia? It’s true, honest. He has the hat to prove it.

All kidding aside, we here in our humble shop owe His Haughtiness a debt of gratitude. He’s the gift who keeps on giving, the Botox beta-tester who lets us love our crow’s feet, the French-looking climate czar who on an otherwise slow news day gives us something to write about.

And so it was this week, when all the world’s attention was focused on Hunter Biden’s bag of blow, John Kerry was preparing to meet with representatives of Chinese President Xi “Don’t Call Me Dictator” Jinping, there to discuss a climate deal.

The Washington Free Beacon sets the stage: Back in 2014, under a newly installed Xi, “China unveiled a plan — to much fanfare from the American press — to cap its annual coal consumption at 4.2 billion tons by 2020. China’s commitment to lower emissions, former president Barack Obama said at the time, ‘shows what’s possible when we work together on an urgent global challenge.’ Today, the Chinese have blown past that number and burn more coal than the rest of the world combined.”

What a useful idiot, that Barack Obama. After all, when it comes to hammering out an emissions agreement with the lying, thieving, live-organ-harvesting ChiComs, what’s not to trust?

As it turns out, nothing’s not to trust — at least not for a diplomat as sharp and seasoned and set on selling us down the river as John Kerry is. As the Free Beacon continues: “Kerry has nonetheless argued that, in the case of the Chinese, words alone are proof of climate ‘progress.’ He has lauded the genocidal dictator for using the term ‘climate crisis’ and for pledging to cut emissions as part of an ‘ecological strategy.’”

Xi must be thanking his lucky yellow stars for the good fortune of being able to negotiate with a pantywaist like Kerry instead of men like former President Donald Trump and his secretary of state, Mike Pompeo.

Trump seemed to embrace the advice of the intrepid Hong Konger who once warned him of the sphincter-like qualities of the Red Chinese.

As for Pompeo, he could’ve advised Kerry on China with a single word: reciprocity. “If the Chinese can buy land near our military facilities,” he said back in January, “we should be able to buy land near their military facilities. … If they can use propaganda on the telephones of our children, we should be able to put our propaganda on the phones of their children. … The theory of the case is, we’ve let them have one set of rules, and we’ve bent the knee and kowtowed to them and had an entirely different set of rules, and that can’t continue.”

On the other hand, Kerry has a history of dastardly diplomacy. As our Nate Jackson wrote back in 2018, shortly after Kerry had been caught undermining our nation’s foreign policy by conducting secret meetings with the Iranians: “One thing that displays this haughty self-importance is his habit of taking on foreign-policy negotiations without the authority to do so. From his treasonous negotiations with the North Vietnamese in 1971 while still an officer in the U.S. Navy to private negotiations with the Palestinians last January, Kerry thinks his foreign policy trumps America’s.”

Kerry insisted this week that such “shadow diplomacy” is just fine, “depending on what it does.”

How can we trust this guy to negotiate a nuke deal with the mad mullahs? Clearly, with Joe Biden as president, we’re getting the foreign policy we deserve. And we’re getting it good and hard.

But wait. There’s more. Yesterday, Kerry appeared before the House Foreign Affairs Subcommittee on Oversight and Accountability. At one point, Kerry spouted off indignantly in defense of his means of travel: “I just don’t agree with your facts, which began with the presentation of one of the most outrageously persistent lies that I hear, which is this private jet. We don’t own a private jet. I don’t own a private jet. I personally have never owned a private jet. And obviously it’s pretty stupid to talk about coming in a private jet from the State Department up here. I just honestly— if that’s where you want to go, go.”

Florida Republican Michael Waltz, himself a former Green Beret, had heard about enough, and his grilling of Kerry is good stuff:

As Power Line’s Scott Johnson quipped: “My vocabulary of opprobrium is insufficient to do justice to Biden administration climate czar John Kerry. There is no leftist bromide he can’t spout with suffocating self-regard.”

True that. Or, as the girls back in Saigon used to say, He so haughty.