From The Comedy Store
Congress investigated gun-running to Mexico and called ATF agents to testify. The lawmakers found out that fifty percent of the guns found in Mexico come from the United States. At the same time fifty percent of the people found in the United States come from Mexico.
President Obama’s re-election campaign announced it’ll raffle off a dinner with President Obama for five dollars per ticket. If you win they make you undergo a background check. Is it really in good taste to take people out to dinner after giving them a government colonoscopy?
A United Nations refugee survey shows many illegal aliens come to the U.S. for the medical benefits. The U.S. gives out free mammograms, free testicular and cervical screenings and free prostate exams. All you have to do is walk through airport security like you’re going someplace.
The TSA began working with Border Patrol to continue its new program of eight thousand daily unannounced body scans nationwide. They can’t grope illegal aliens. That’s the responsibility of international bankers when the aliens get their first job at a five-star hotel.
Governor Rick Perry proposed a bill banning intrusive groping by TSA agents, prompting the Justice Department to threaten to cancel all flights to Texas. This would force travelers to fly to Mexico and then walk across the border to Texas. The federal government can’t stop that.
President Obama expanded his search for a new chairman of the White House Council of Economic Advisers to fix this recession. Yesterday he called India for tech support. They told him to turn the economy off for five minutes then turn it back on, and see if that helps.
NBC apologized for leaving God out of its Pledge of Allegiance piece before the U.S. Open. It fed the perception that NBC is a liberal apologist for a secular administration. Last week NBC News reported that President Obama’s warplanes bombed civilians in Tripoli but in a good way.
Michelle Obama flew to Johannesburg Monday to enjoy a sightseeing tour of South Africa. She wanted to visit the Apartheid Museum, which chronicles the struggle against white rule. She estimates that it’s going to take a billion dollars in campaign donations to continue the fight.
John McCain stood by his remark claiming that the Arizona brushfires were likely started by illegal aliens in the state’s wilderness. It’s a scandal. The Mexicans were using Bic lighters shipped to them at the insistence of the Justice Department in an effort to frame Gillette.
Congress investigated gun-running to Mexico and called ATF agents to testify. The lawmakers found out that fifty percent of the guns found in Mexico come from the United States. At the same time fifty percent of the people found in the United States come from Mexico.
ATF agent John Dodson testified he was ordered by the Justice Department to let U.S.-made assault rifles be sent into Mexico. Western gun dealers were told to stop doing background checks on buyers. The administration decided to give illegal aliens a pathway to marksmanship.
President Obama drew unintended gales of laughter after he told the Democratic Party’s fundraiser in Washington that his administration created two million private-sector jobs. It’s not funny. Not everyone can work the night shift at McDonald’s or repossess cars.
John Edwards smiled pleasantly for his booking photo last week after being indicted in North Carolina for using campaign funds to cover up a mistress. He had reason to smile. The first lesson they teach you in law school is that a man is innocent until he runs out of money.
WalMart won its court fight against female employees who say they are treated like replaceable objects in the workplace. Last night a delivery truck crashed into the store and destroyed the merchandise. By the next morning WalMart had a brand-new store shipped in from China.
© Copyright 2010 Argus Hamilton
