From The Comedy Store
President Obama began using Twitter in a town-hall meeting at the White House. His aides must write all his Tweets for him. By the time Obama is finished blaming Bush and blaming the Republicans he doesn’t have enough characters left to blame Wall Street.
President Obama demanded a dozen times at a press conference that rich people who own corporate jets pay higher taxes. It’s obvious he was taunting Rush Limbaugh. Obama not only ripped rich guys who own corporate jets, he said it twelve times for the hard of hearing.
President Obama told the country that his two daughters Sasha and Malia are more diligent than Congress. He got their ages wrong while praising them. For one reason or another the accuracy of birth information is always a problem with this particular president.
President Obama told ABC News that his girls would have Secret Service protection as they start dating if he gets re-elected. He added that means they’d never get into a car driven by a boy drinking a beer. It’s always the same pitch, vote Democrat or the children are going to die.
President Obama urged the GOP Congress to raise the debt ceiling another couple of trillion dollars to avoid disaster. He says we must keep spending money until we’re out of debt. This statement proves more than any piece of paper that he really was born in America.
The U.S. Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals said that Congress can force U.S. citizens to buy health insurance. Liberty was nice while it lasted. Between Congress’s power under the Commerce Clause and the Supreme Court’s power under the Due Process Clause, Americans are pretty much left with the power to decide when they go to the bathroom, unless they’re on an airplane.
NBC’s Mark Halperin was suspended for calling President Obama a slang word for a man’s sex organ. The producer didn’t push the bleep button during the seven second delay. He’s so used to letting the Anthony Weiner story go through uncensored he didn’t even notice the word.
President Obama slammed Congress for failing to do its job to reach a budget deal and raise the debt ceiling. He can’t have it both ways. President Obama wants Congress to do its job, but if Congress does its job they will impeach him for violating the War Powers Act.
The Food and Drug Administration considered approval of genetically engineered salmon. The fish has the ability to swim upstream against strong currents. If the Obama administration can’t find Democrats who can win next year, they will create them.
The White House upped car mileage standards to push Detroit to make more hybrid and electric cars. It’s to reduce our dependence on oil. Engineers at Ford Motors just invented a new engine that can run on water, but so far it only runs on water from the Yellowstone River.
Exxon Mobil plugged up a ruptured oil pipe in Montana Saturday but not before it leaked into the Yellowstone River. It’s a GOP state. That explains why President Obama reacted to the spill by forcing Exxon Mobil to pay two billion dollars to restaurant owners in New Orleans.
President Obama began using Twitter in a town-hall meeting at the White House. His aides must write all his Tweets for him. By the time Obama is finished blaming Bush and blaming the Republicans he doesn’t have enough characters left to blame Wall Street.
Riverside county official Jeff Stone proposed seceding from California with eight other counties to form South California. It’s a movement to escape high taxes and responsibility for illegal aliens that could spread. By the time everybody finishes seceding from California, Illinois and New York, Barack Obama’s remark that he’s visited all fifty-seven states will have turned out to be psychic.
President Obama’s personal approval rating was ten points below Bill Clinton’s personal approval ratings in a poll last week. It seems that there’s more public sympathy in America for an adulterer than for a socialist. Everyone’s tempted to cheat but nobody’s tempted to share.
© Copyright 2010 Argus Hamilton
