VANDALIA, OH — In another unhinged moment, former president Donald Trump vowed to supporters that he would trigger a “landslide” on election day.

Being the movement downslope of a mass of earth and rock, landslides have been known to kill people and cause massive property damage to communities around the country every year. This is the first time a former president has threatened to trigger one on election day if the election doesn’t go the way he thinks it should.

“Landslides kill 25-50 people in the United States every year on average either from falling rocks, debris flows, or collapsing buildings,” said a spokesman for The United States Geological Survey, Dr. Ned Jones.

When asked how the former President might go about triggering one of these horrible landslides, The United States Geological Survey could not comment but reminded people to move to a second story in buildings whenever possible and to avoid river valleys and other low areas.

“It is very important that you stay out of the path of an incoming landslide triggered by Donald Trump and if you can’t get away you must curl into a ball to try to protect your head,” reiterated Dr. Jones.

“A former president of this nation is literally threatening to kill people with a landslide,” said Rachel Maddow on MSNBC. “He promised a bloodbath was coming if he wasn’t elected and now we know what his plan is. We’ll be following this landslide plot closely, so keep it tuned in here, folks.”

Experts like Maddow say this is yet another example of Donald Trump’s tendency to make threats of political violence, similar to that one time on January 6, 2021, when he told his followers to “do an insurrection” to stop the vote certification for Joe Biden.

At publishing time, Donald Trump reiterated to his supporters that the landslide on election day would be “huge, just huge, maybe the biggest ever.”

From our friends at The Babylon Bee.