The Babylon Bee: In Disgusting Call for Violence, Trump Says Politicians Should Stop Sending Kids Off to War

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Satire / November 4, 2024

In Disgusting Call for Violence, Trump Says Politicians Should Stop Sending Kids Off to War

“Trump’s call for world peace was tantamount to calling for executions by firing squad.”

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The Babylon Bee

GLENDALE, AZ — In a horrific call for violence, former President Donald Trump stated that politicians should stop sending kids to war.

Trump made the disgusting statement during a campaign event in Arizona, where he stated that politicians would not be so quick to start wars if they had to fight in them. His vile rhetoric about saving teenagers from dying in the Middle East is now being investigated by the Arizona Attorney General as potential death threat.

“Trump’s call for world peace was tantamount to calling for executions by firing squad,” explained CBS News Anchor Kasie Hunt. “He is openly calling for murder with his heinous comments about ‘not wanting young soldiers to die.’ It’s so reprehensible, I cannot even show you the whole video — only this short little clip I edited.”

Thousands of Americans took to social media to express outrage at Trump for not wanting people to die. “May God have mercy on us,” said Russell Moore, Editor of Christianity Today. “The thought of not sending young soldiers to die, it’s just sickening to me. How have we fallen so far as a country, that we would not want our kids to die in endless wars? Trump’s yearning for peace is a cancer to our nation.”

At publishing time, Arizona had announced that Trump would be removed from the ballot in order to protect all the people who might be murdered by world peace.

From our friends at The Babylon Bee.

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