The Babylon Bee: The Babylon Bee Announces Its 'Persons of the Year' Awards for 2025

Did you know? The Patriot Post is funded 100% by grassroots Patriots like you. Help us stay front and center in the fight for Liberty and support the 2025 Year-End Campaign.

Support Liberty

Support Us

Tell A Friend

Read The Latest Digest

Humor / December 30, 2025

The Babylon Bee Announces Its ‘Persons of the Year’ Awards for 2025

Manliest Person of the Year: Justin Trudeau. When we think testosterone, we think Justin.

Listen

The Babylon Bee

As we close out 2025, the time has come to announce the greatest of all awards, that prize far more coveted than a mere Nobel Prize or Oscar. After hours of intense debate, countless votes, and the sacking of two employees, we are now ready to reveal The Babylon Bee’s Persons of the Year:

Straight Person of the Year: Tim Walz
Easily the number one hetero.

Healthy Person of the Year: Ariana Grande
The absolute picture of health and wellness.

Person with Best Jeans: Bill Thompson of Ames, Iowa
Sorry, Sydney. Bill’s got you beat.

Not Dead Person of the Year: Joe Biden
Way to go, Joe!

Sane, Rational Person of the Year: Candace Owens
Well-deserved.

Skinny Person of the Year: Your mom
Didn’t see that one coming.

Sober Person of the Year: Kamala Harris
The spitting image of sobriety.

Chaste Person of the Year: Bill Clinton
You did it, Bill.

Principled Person of the Year: Chip & Joanna Gaines
No compromising values here.

Fly Ball Catcher of the Year: Aaron Judge
Two years in a row!

Normal-looking Person of the Year: Ed Sheeran
Just look at how normal he appears.

Manliest Person of the Year: Justin Trudeau
When we think testosterone, we think Justin.

Athlete of the Year: That WNBA player who made a layup
Great job, what’s her name.

Sexiest Man of the Year: Tom Homan
TOM. FRIGGIN. HOMAN.

Sexiest Woman of the Year: Our wives
Love you, honey.

United Methodist Pastor of the Year: Satan
The Lord of Darkness does it again.

American Citizen of the Year: Kilmar Abrego Garcia
No one captures the American spirit better.

Christian Person of the Year: Donald J. Trump
Congratulations to the President on his ninth consecutive selection.

Cherish these awards, friends. We’ll see you in 2026!

From our friends at The Babylon Bee.

START A CONVERSATION:

More Opinion

Gary Bauer

Trump Defends Defenseless Christians

Stephen Moore

The Economists Got 2025 All Wrong

Victor Joecks

How AI Undermines Education

The Washington Stand

Assisted Suicide Comes to the American Heartland

Who We Are

The Patriot Post is a highly acclaimed weekday digest of news analysis, policy and opinion written from the heartland — as opposed to the MSM’s ubiquitous Beltway echo chambers — for grassroots leaders nationwide. More

What We Offer

On the Web

We provide solid conservative perspective on the most important issues, including analysis, opinion columns, headline summaries, memes, cartoons and much more.

Via Email

Choose our Mid-Day Digest for a summary of important news each weekday. We also offer Cartoons & Memes on Monday, Alexander's Column on Wednesday, and the Week in Review on Saturday.

Our Mission

The Patriot Post is steadfast in our mission to extend the endowment of Liberty to the next generation by advocating for individual rights and responsibilities, supporting the restoration of constitutional limits on government and the judiciary, and promoting free enterprise, national defense and traditional American values. We are a rock-solid conservative touchstone for the expanding ranks of grassroots Americans Patriots from all walks of life. Our mission and operation budgets are not financed by any political or special interest groups, and to protect our editorial integrity, we accept no advertising. We are sustained solely by you. Please support The Patriot Fund today!

The Patriot Post and Patriot Foundation Trust, in keeping with our Military Mission of Service to our uniformed service members and veterans, are proud to support and promote the National Medal of Honor Heritage Center, the Congressional Medal of Honor Society, both the Honoring the Sacrifice and Warrior Freedom Service Dogs aiding wounded veterans, the Tunnel to Towers Foundation, the National Veterans Entrepreneurship Program, the Folds of Honor outreach, and Officer Christian Fellowship, the Air University Foundation, and Naval War College Foundation, and the Naval Aviation Museum Foundation. "Greater love has no one than this, to lay down one's life for his friends." (John 15:13)

Email Subscriptions

Support The Patriot Post

FAQ / Contact Us / Terms of Use / Privacy Policy / Reprinting Policy

★ PUBLIUS ★

“Our cause is noble; it is the cause of mankind!” —George Washington

Please join us in prayer for our nation — that righteous leaders would rise and prevail and we would be united as Americans. Pray for the protection of our uniformed Military Patriots, Veterans, First Responders, and their families. Lift up your *Patriot Post* team and our mission to support and defend our legacy of American Liberty and our Republic's Founding Principles, in order that the fires of freedom would be ignited in the hearts and minds of our countrymen.

The Patriot Post is protected speech, as enumerated in the First Amendment and enforced by the Second Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, in accordance with the endowed and unalienable Rights of All Mankind.