SACRAMENTO, CA — Only days after the toppling of the Maduro regime in Venezuela, news broke Monday morning that President Donald Trump had led a Navy SEAL team to capture rogue dictator Gavin Newsom.

Reports came in in the early morning hours that loud explosions had been heard near the governor’s mansion, with multiple witnesses saying they saw Black Hawk helicopters flying low over the city. A statement from the White House later confirmed that communist despot Gavin Newsom had been apprehended by Navy SEALs under the command of President Trump.

“The people of California are now free,” Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt said. “President Trump personally led the mission to take Gavin Newsom into U.S. custody, ending years of suffering and oppression for the people under his rule. We are pleased to announce that no lives were lost in the mission and that Governor Newsom is currently in transit to a secret location for questioning following a brief stop the SEAL team made at McDonald’s.”

Shortly after the administration confirmed the operation, President Trump posted to his Truth Social account announcing the successful mission. “Californians can now live in peace with the United States,” he said. “For too long, Greasy Gavin Newscum has run a corrupt totalitarian government in the once-beautiful state of California. I am pleased to confirm that the amazing Navy SEALs, with me leading the mission, have captured Newscum. He will now answer for his horrible crimes and for his hair. Thank you for your attention to this matter.”

At publishing time, the White House had also confirmed that the United States had seized control of the millions of barrels of crude oil Newsom had stockpiled for use as his hair product.

From our friends at The Babylon Bee.