WASHINGTON, D.C. — With debate ongoing over the Republican-proposed SAVE Act to shore up U.S. election integrity, Democrat lawmakers countered by proposing their own legislation, the STEAL Act, to ban voter ID in elections.

The bill, which has the full title of Shield The Election From Legitimacy Act, would make it illegal for anyone to present valid identification when voting in an election, thereby preventing any safeguards against fraud from being put in place.

“This legislation is vital to the survival of our party,” said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. “With Republicans seeking to discriminate against people by only allowing citizens to vote, they’ve left us no choice but to respond with our own bill that would ensure a complete lack of election integrity whatsoever. That’s why we are proud to introduce the STEAL Act. This legislation will give the Democratic Party a bright and robust future for all elections.”

Senate Democrats also championed the bill as the nation’s last and best hope to subvert election security moving forward. “Without this law, we will be stuck with legitimate democracy,” Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer said. “I shudder to think of the level of election security that would be put in place if this legislation does not pass. Can you imagine an America where only people who are legally allowed to vote can cast their ballots? It’s terrifying.”

At publishing time, Democrats were reportedly working hard to stage a water main break in the Capitol to interrupt voting on the SAVE Act and allow more time for shenanigans.

From our friends at The Babylon Bee.