The Babylon Bee: 8 Shocking Things Artemis II Found on the Far Side of the Moon

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Humor / April 8, 2026

8 Shocking Things Artemis II Found on the Far Side of the Moon

Several boxes labeled “Epstein Files”: Someone must have been trying really hard to keep these from being found.

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The Babylon Bee

@TheBabylonBee

The dark side of the moon has long been the subject of myth and speculation. What mysteries lie beyond the known lunar surface in that dark realm beyond our telescopes?

Now, The Babylon Bee can reveal what the crew of the Artemis II mission discovered on the other side of the moon:

Rocks: Lots and lots of rocks.
A Starbucks: Man, they really are everywhere.
1,000,000,000 Mylar birthday balloons: So that’s where they all end up.
A Somali daycare: The owner says it has a huge client base and is totally legit.
A Shohei Ohtani home run ball: Not even Earth’s atmosphere can contain his power.
Several boxes labeled “Epstein Files”: Someone must have been trying really hard to keep these from being found.
Amelia Earhart: Always the last place you’d think to look.
The Chinese moon base that’s been there for years: Ope! Sorry, didn’t know anyone was already here.

What an incredible treasure trove of amazing artifacts.

From our friends at The Babylon Bee.

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