From The Comedy Store
President Obama discussed his family life saying being president’s a delicate balancing act between family and work. Last week he had to interrupt his schedule to sit in on a parent-teacher conference. Apparently Joe Biden is being held back a grade.
President Obama broke ground for the construction of the African-American History Museum on the Mall. It won’t ignore the shameful history of slave labor. A photograph of the Mexican construction crew who build the museum will be hung in the front hallway.
The Treasury Department issued a list of suggestions to taxpayers to help get their refund check back faster. It’s very user-friendly. This year you can have your refund check sent to you by mail or have the check deposited directly into your gas station.
Meryl Streep won the Best Actress Oscar for playing Lady Margaret Thatcher in The Iron Lady. The movie dwells on her later life in which she’s senile and addled. Hollywood is just trying to demonstrate to American youth that conservatism rots your brain.
Iran’s government claimed the Iranian film’s Oscar for Best Foreign Language Movie was a victory of Iran over Zionism because it beat an Israeli film. It’s not as big a victory as the Mullahs think. The movie is about Iranian filmmakers fleeing to Tel Aviv to get work.
Hillary Clinton was reported plotting a coup to overthrow President Bashar Assad of Syria. She hopes to get it right this time. The last time Hillary Clinton overthrew a president, the lamp missed high and outside and smashed into a portrait of Washington.
President Obama discussed his family life saying being president’s a delicate balancing act between family and work. Last week he had to interrupt his schedule to sit in on a parent-teacher conference. Apparently Joe Biden is being held back a grade.
President Obama re-formed African-Americans for Obama. He needs them again. African-Americans for Obama is the group that helped him get the nomination four years ago when they outraised Cheated-On Wives for Hillary by a four-to-one margin.
A U.S. Marine rescued a boy who fell into the lion cage at the National Zoo. He jumped over the fence, punched the lion, and snatched away the boy. The next day the Washington Post reported that a Marine attacked an African immigrant and stole his lunch.
President Obama told Univision that his presidency isn’t over yet and he still has five years to go. It’s true. He has a lawyer from ACORN who tells him that they can’t get him out of the house for five years as long as he declares bankruptcy every six months.
Bill Clinton spoke to an energy convention and he backed the Keystone oil pipeline. He said it’s easy to go around the aquifers and sand hills. It just shows that if you pay a Democrat a ninety thousand dollar speaking fee, we can be energy independent.
President Obama spoke to the UAW and promised to buy a Chevy Volt when he leaves office. It makes no sense politically. President Obama’s never going to get the NASCAR vote anyway, so why should he promise to drive a car that bursts into flames?
The U.S. Army began a color-coded cafeteria menu food program. It’s to help soldiers differentiate between healthy choices and fatty ones. Do we really want people carrying weapons if they cannot tell the difference between a head of lettuce and a head of al-Qaeda?
The NFL moved its season opener from Thursday to Wednesday to avoid conflicting with President Obama’s convention speech in Charlotte. He wants the airwaves all to himself and his face on every channel. He just warned the Home Shopping network that during the hour-long speech he expects them to sell TV sets that are tuned in to his speech.
© Copyright 2012 Argus Hamilton
