June 8, 2026

After Mail-in Ballots Tallied, Joe Biden Wins LA Mayor’s Race With 81 Million Votes

“A truly impressive victory for a candidate who didn’t even run,” said election official Francis Peabody.

LOS ANGELES, CA — After multiple days of late-night mail-in ballot drops finally being tallied, it was discovered that Joe Biden had won the Los Angeles mayoral race with an astonishing 81 million votes.

While most cities and states seem to be able to figure out who won and who lost by the end of the day of the election, Los Angeles can take days, weeks, or maybe even months to allow for all the mail-in ballots to trickle in, resulting in a spectacular come-from-behind victory for Biden.

In the case of the Los Angeles mayor’s race, most voters expected incumbent Karen Bass and top challenger Spencer Pratt to be the top two vote-getters who would head into a run-off election in November. But several days after the election took place, a late mail-in ballot drop was tabulated, which swung things decidedly in favor of Joe Biden by a historic margin.

“A truly impressive victory for a candidate who didn’t even run,” said Los Angeles election official Francis Peabody. “This is a bit unusual but not outside the realm of possibility. Normally, voters expect that the candidates who are actively campaigning for the job will get the most votes, but sometimes a last-minute ballot drop can dramatically swing things like this.”

“We can now officially declare Joe Biden is the winner.”

Skeptics immediately accused the mail-in voting system of being rife with fraud and impossible to verify, but experts were quick to point out that voter fraud is incredibly rare and that no one even needs to make it more transparent or secure.

“We need to count every vote,” said Peabody. “These 81 million citizens of the city of Los Angeles deserve to be heard.”

At publishing time, Joe Biden had also won the race for California governor.


From our friends at The Babylon Bee.

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