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July 7, 2026

Dems Wishing There Had Been Some Sort of Sign That Platner Was a Bad Person

“It’s always the ones you least suspect, you know? Looking back, there is just no way anyone could have seen this coming.”

U.S. — In the wake of sexual assault allegations being leveled at Senate nominee Graham Platner, Democrats were left wishing there had been some sort of warning sign that he was a bad person.

Platner handily won the Democratic primary in Maine, with liberal voters sadly having no clue that his character may be a bit suspect.

“If only there had been some warning sign, some mark on him to alert us,” said Democratic voter Stacy Verdant. “It’s always the ones you least suspect, you know? Looking back, there is just no way anyone could have seen this coming. Why couldn’t there be some sort of clue about creeps like this? It’s such a shock.”

According to sources, pressure was increasing on Platner to withdraw from the race as the Democratic Party was caught totally unaware by the new allegations. “We’re just stunned. Really, there were just no red flags, no hints or signs that might have spelled this out for us,” said DNC official Marty Beckett. “If only candidates came with warning bells or something. Hindsight is 20/20.”

At publishing time, Democrats had again bemoaned the fact that there were no signs of Biden suffering from dementia before his debate performance.


From our friends at The Babylon Bee.

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