From The Comedy Store
North Korea’s women’s soccer team walked off before a recent match. Organizers accidentally displayed the South Korean flag and the North Koreans were outraged. They will never be able to go home now that they know what it is like to be angry and have food.
North Korea’s women’s soccer team walked off before a recent match. Organizers accidentally displayed the South Korean flag and the North Koreans were outraged. They will never be able to go home now that they know what it is like to be angry and have food.
Mayor Rahm Emanuel said he won’t allow Chick-fil-A in his city after its president made anti-gay remarks, because Chicago businesses must reflect Chicago values. That’s problematic. The health department will never allow the restaurant to slaughter their chickens with Tommy Guns.
A Washington D.C. voting group sent out voter registration forms to dead people and pets in Virginia. It was a little obvious to the county registrars. During Virginia’s last presidential primary General Robert E. Lee voted for Obama and Traveler voted for Hillary.
President Obama began running on Bill Clinton’s economic program. He says his tax hikes on the rich balanced the budget and began a boom. However, no one minded higher taxes under Bill Clinton because people got their money back in adult entertainment.
CNN President Jim Walton resigned after low ratings destroyed Ted Turner’s creation. It was killed by political correctness. CNN used to report the news from bureaus all over the world and now viewers feel like they’ve been enrolled in a Soviet day school.
The White House expressed concern about the grim economic forecast. No one has an answer. Last night a man jumped the White House fence, but after a brief chase the Secret Service was able to talk Barack Obama into coming back and finishing his term.
The White House denied that Barack Obama returned Churchill’s bust to the British Embassy when he took office. You know the defense. Obama says he didn’t do that, the bust traveled back to the British Embassy over roads and bridges built by somebody else.
New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg moved to restrict formula milk in hospital baby wards to promote breast-feeding. It could be a problem. Due to his law against drinks more than sixteen ounces, mothers could be arrested if they have breasts larger than a Big Gulp.
India suffered power blackouts Tuesday that left three hundred million Americans without tech support. It was chaos. India’s government issued a statement urging Americans to turn the computer off for five minutes, turn it back on, and see if that works.
The London Games were plagued by empty seats at sporting venues on Monday. Bureaucracy and inefficiency are to blame. The organizers gave a block of tickets to the National Health Service to hand out to patients and a lot of people died before they could get to the games.
Washington D.C. public schools started a pilot program that pays kids five dollars an hour to go to summer school. It’ll backfire. They enter the program as poor minority youth but once they see what’s left after taxes they’re sure to form Young Republican Clubs.
Penn State running back Silas Redd left the university Tuesday and opted to play for the USC Trojans. That’s odd. Penn State’s sex scandal was so sordid he could be the first player in history to transfer to Los Angeles for a more wholesome college experience.
President Obama was ripped by black ministers in Washington D.C. who urged him to recant his support for gay marriage. He just shrugged it off. President Obama knows he doesn’t need the black vote to stay in the White House, he can always play the coup card.
© Copyright 2012 Argus Hamilton
